Catperson

[Catperson]

Hi, thank you so much for your reply and yes i agree that getting out and getting safe is the most important thing.

Im in the position where they go away for sometime for work, so have the oppurtunity to move back and forth for a short time. The house is totally unfurnished, theres nothing there at all.
I am going to contact local groups to see what support they offer, even if its a cooker if the house is THAT unfurnished.

I shall update when i go to see it which is soon

[Catperson]

it sounds like you wrote about my situation.

My partner will walk around, huffing, puffing, saying how disgusting we are and slamming things around. We are all on eggshells and too afraid to leave our rooms. He will randomly go into one of the kids rooms and comment how disgusting it is and just stand there, its so intimidating. When he walks around the house we will all literally do our best to keep quiet or not be doing anything that will set him off, my kids just naturally do it now, and im so ashamed that that is their norm, but when hes not around, they are SO much more free and lively, which is why i have taken the step to leave. Its taken me years, being told by friends my relationship is abusive, even though its not physical, i couldnt seen that it was. My eldest kids comment on how its not normal, and it made me see that i had to go.

I also went back to them last year, and had a short honeymoon like period, but as soon as i stopped ‘putting out’, the awful attitude and behaviour towards us all just started again. Its terrible, its making my mind so wired by it all.

Solidarity to you all

[Catperson]

Hi,

I thought id update my situation a little bit, it may help someone going through a similar situation.

So, i have contacted the council, and have an appointment to speak to a homelessness advisor regarding my situation. Annoyingly they contacted me via phone when i said no calls, as it makes me vunerable, but ill bring that up in an email to them and also my appointment, so if that may affect you also, do mention to your advisor how you want to be contacted to keep you safe.

I have asked for a managed move, not an emergency one, I have children and one of which is immuno-compromised so i do not want to risk them getting sick. Im am not quite sure what that means, but i think its more or a permanent solution rather than a hostel/hotel in the meantime.

They mentioned on the phone about making sure i dont give false information as its a criminal offense, which makes me scared, im not going to, but it sounds threatening, but i also know its just procedure for them to say that, so do not worry.

My only worry is that my name is on the mortgage and im. not sure if they will be as keen to help me. Even tho he has admantly said he will not leave, and he has stuck to that, so we shall see what they say next week.

It seems like things are moving slowly but i know itll progress and its in the right direction.
I shall update when things do progess

[Catperson]

Thank you both for your replies,

Yes I have children, i am worried about them using them as a bargaining chip somehow. I also dont want them to be able to find me as i have no boundaries with them and they know how to exploit me, its something im hoping WA can help me with when i am out. Its shameful as i feel like a doormat and so stupid. Your comments have made me feel able to approach the council, so thank you both very much.

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