Confusionreigns

[Confusionreigns]

Thank you all of you. He’s just sent me a text saying how happy he is after yesterday and he hopes I’ll stay over next time. Also he hopes I have a really great day. Doesn’t seem bad to me. But I’m determined in my head not to go back. I start a new job tomorrow so I just can’t deal with the worry of ignoring him and the texts I’d get from him. (even if I block him I know I’d be compelled to read the ‘blocked content’). Is that being gentle on myself, for now? Because I can only cope with fobbing him off at the moment. I don’t ever have to go back now. And I will have to tell him that sometime, then
I will have to do No Contact.I know I will. Oh my word this is so so hard.

[Confusionreigns]

No contact is so hard. He doesn’t see that he is abusive. The drunken episodes he barely remembers and I triggered him. He would be so upset after yesterday I raised his hopes. I just feel so bad. Also when I block his texts I can still read them and he doesn’t know that I’ve blocked them – and I just can’t bring myself to ignore him.

[Confusionreigns]

Thank you for your reply – you’re right he confuses me and has a hold on me. It is difficult to leave, I’m sorry about your situation.

[Confusionreigns]

I mean I can’t be that scared of him to go back. I’m so mixed up. Has anyone else done this or is it just me? I feel so stupid.

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