cornflower

[cornflower]

Hi lisa
I have waited til now to even find out my options for leaving as I wanted to be sure my husband would never have time on his own with my children. He is so temperamental that I couldn’t bear the idea of him having a whole weekend of custody with the children without me there to keep them safe. I wonder if other women like me have ended up contemplating leaving later because they had to know the children had safely gone before they could leave. My children are adults now and financially independent of him. If he behaves badly they can choose to cut him off. That has given me the freedom to start to quietly get my affairs in order and then go. I have also found some self confidence which helps me accept that if I loose one or two friends who can’t see him for what he is then I dont need them in my life any more. When i was younger I dont know if I would have felt that. I am not there yet and am still getting up the courage but at least I can see an opening in the door to go and its not locked shut like it used to be.

[cornflower]

Thank you all so very much. I have never voiced my fears before and just hearing you all acknowledge that I am not overreacting is like a huge vent of emotion. I smiled to myself a lot today because your comments made me feel that there are other good kind people in the world. In a way it has given me more reason to go because I know I could build more friendships once I am away. Your spontaneous kindness and support is in direct contrast to his criticism and destruction. today felt like the world was more balance with good people! I had no idea that WA and the helpine could provide practical support like advising me how I can get solicitors advice etc. You have no idea how your messages have helped me. I am grateful. small steps but in the right direction. thank you again.

[cornflower]

Hi Doris

I have just sat and read your post and almost every word could have been written about me. my relationship is just like this. I want to get out but the irony is he has made me so low that summoning up the courage and resilience to get through what I know will be an even more horrendous few months / years to be able to get away makes me put it off. if I am honest the last (detail removed by moderator) years have been just like this. I set little dates in my head and say i will go then but something always happens and it stops me. This forum makes me believe I am not mad. You sound like you have done everything in your power to make this work but now deserve more peace and kindness, which is how i feel about my situation. I read sentences that could be me speaking in so many posts. I hope you have managed to get away or have a found more happiness, however that may be.

[cornflower]

I know this sounds like a stupid question but if I call the help line will the number show up on my phone bill. My husband checks all the bills and if the number comes up and it isn’t part of our free included calls he will quiz me about it? Is 0808 free and something i can call with out it showing on our bills. He checks both landline and mobile. thank you

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