cupofteaplease

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I was talking to my 2nd eldest.he said he just wants to not feel like he’s walking on egg shelps most the time. Says a lot really. I’m letting them down.

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Well I’ve found out that when I’ve been out at work if the two younger ones hand writing isn’t good enough he rips it up and makes them do it again. And if I go out for a (removed by moderator) run, if they are being a bit manic as kids can be, he’s been telling me lies about what happens when I’m out. He’ll just say oh I had to tell them to calmed down a bit as they got loud. And my (removed by moderator) older kids have said twice he has got really shouty and scary slamming doors and threating to break their tablets. I’ve stopped going out running. I can’t stop going out to work. He’s lying to my face.

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Hi – after reading a few other threads on here I thought I’d come on and say, I haven’t been entirely truthful about my situation because I’m to ashamed and embarrassed. I have 4 children too. (detail removed by Moderator) ( my 2 teenagers are from previous marriage) I feel huge huge guilt that I haven’t shielded them from his ways. The guilt eats me up inside. My eldest came to me (detail removed by Moderator) and said mum do you realise what he does is gaslighting and manipulation. Since then she’s talking to me at least once a week about how she feels about things and things that have been said before. She feels huge relief that I am on the same page as her. I am being careful what I say. Even though she’s quite grown up she’s still young to me. This is why I don’t know how to just leave the home. Because of the kids. I have family – and my daughter said she has told my dad a certain few things and he’s told her to come to him about anything again, but they’re waiting for me to come to them as they don’t want to interfere. I can’t go stay with them as they have an elderly relative living with them in a 3 bed house and me and 4 kids in one room would be a bit tight. Even though I am self employed and have income I’m not rolling in it and can’t just rustle up a deposit and month in advance for a private rent. The nearest refuge is about an hour away. All my work related things are in the vacinity of my house and I can’t drive. Anymore advice would be welcome

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Gettingtired – thank you that is brilliant to know.I have seeker advice from a solicitor and am waiting response from them. I’ve set up a separate email and bank account he doesn’t know about either

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Thank you Came that’s very useful info for me I really appreciate it

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Thank you Kip. What you say males a lot of sense to me. Ringing them when I’m out for a walk is a good idea.

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Thank you for replying to me. I do (now) realise it’s not normal but when you’ve lived with it for so long..
I haven’t been in contact with anyone. This is my first port of call. I’ve been waiting to use the online chat on here but it’s always busy and I can’t call anyone about it because he is always here due to not working. I am working but unable to speak then due to where I am located. I will have a look at those authors thank you.

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