Hi SunshineRain Flower,
Thank you for your reply. I really appreciate it 🙂
To be honest, soon after the abuse I started writing poetry and that really helped a lot! It made sense of what I had been through and comforted me somehow.. so I tried that as a sort of self-help I would say..
As for therapy, well no. Not yet. Though I am thinking now I probably should.
At the time, after it happened, I felt partly responsable because my mum tried to convince me to break up but I was too stubborn and did not listen to her. So, as I would find out later on, she was right and I wasn’t. It reached a point, just before ending the relationship at which I had been almost sure (and scared) that I would have never seen my mother again as he didn’t make me leave England. And I really wasn’t able to leave or go away in any way until he decided I could…
This is just to say that I did not want my mum to pay (literally) for something which was my mistake only when she had tried her best to make me come back to my senses… I know I shouldn’t be worrying about it and that my mental health should come first surely but it just didn’t seem right to me.. it seems so silly to write it down now – not wanting to pay for therapy!
Plus, I thought I was doing okay. Not amazingly but alright.
So, I decided to allow myself some time, though I must say I just put that off for a while. Otherwise, if that was really sorted once and for all, I wouldn’t be feeling the need to talk about it a year later.. so this is why I am reconsidering.
I can feel that you understand and I am really grateful for it.
Anyway, how are you feeling? How are you doing?
