Flowersinthetrees

[Flowersinthetrees]

I completely know where you are coming from. It’s other people asking you the question, “have you told him how you feel?”. I never know what to say. I feel crushed by them even asking, making out like he is the poor victim And his wife hasn’t given him a chance.. My reply To that question from other people has been varying bumbling versions of ,”yes we tried to talk about how I felt but it just didn’t work unfortunately”. Stay strong! You have done the right thing and don’t let other people’s questions make you doubt yourself. You are the only one who knows your relationship inside out and what happened in it and how it made you feel. You owe no-one an explanation.

[Flowersinthetrees]

I have the same problem. I also don’t know what to do and feel frightened that if we went to a mediator, he would be able to manipulate things and twist it round so he looks like the innocent victim and that I’m the unkind, unreliable, unreasonable one. It’s so horrible and hard. I never thought he would’ve demanded 50/50 because when we were together the ratio was more like 15/85! He hardly ever chose to spend any of his free time with the children and preferred to follow his own pursuits and hobbies instead. It makes me so upset and small. I’m sorry I don’t have any answers. Just wanted to share because it made me feel less alone in this When I read that you were going through a similar thing. Much love xx

[Flowersinthetrees]

Mine has been nice as well but cracks are beginning to show..he accused me of being hostile towards him the last time I picked up the children (despite the fact that I was just speaking in a ‘normal’ toned voice) and accused me of not thinking of the children in my decision to leave him.. this is all sandwiched in with some very reasonable chat and so it’s hard to spot the cracks but I feel it’s getting easier to unpick the conversations. I try and remain emotionally neutral every time I have to talk with him. I think the ‘reasonableness’ from them can actually make you feel a bit on edge because you know it’s not going to last and there is the fear of when and how their ‘niceness’ will collapse… don’t really know if I’ve made sense! I think what I’m trying to say is, I think the niceness is a tactic and it probably won’t last..stay strong. ❤️🌼🌿

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