Goonebetter

[Goonebetter]

Thank you both for being so honest, it’s a bitter pill to swallow but I know I definitely haven’t recovered from what he’s done as it’s still so fresh. My own mom keeps telling me that I’ve been through more in the last (detail removed by moderator) years than people do in a life time and I’m finding it very hard to accept this is the truth if I’m completely honest. I don’t like to burden people with my problems or thoughts because I don’t want to seem crazy like he’s making me out to be, but quite frankly I know myself better than that and I refused to be bullied anymore. I will definitely give the helpline a ring tonight, I’m fully aware that I need to get my head out of the muddy water and change the way I’m looking at things even more than I have already. Maybe it’s a case of learning how to emotionally detach myself, but I know I’ll get there as I’m so determined to change mine and the kids lives for the better.

Really appreciate your advice!x

[Goonebetter]

Thanks so much for taking the time to help!

We went to (detail removed by moderator) because social services advised me to take out a prohibited steps order, I’ve now got this and also his residency is to live with me. CAFCAS also did their final report and said that they would suggest to use a third party for contact. He also has regular meetings with a probation officer for the offence he got charged with, so if we do end up at court I’m really not afraid of what the outcome will be as I think he has a lot going against him to be honest.

I’ve tried so hard to be civil with him but I just really need to stop being naive I think, I struggle to get it into my head that he is an abuser and I need to do what I can to avoid him. I have no doubts about him with our son, I really don’t think he would do anything to harm him.. I don’t know if that’s naive of me or not. I do trust him when it comes to looking after him, I just think it’s me that he’s angry at. For so long he has accused me of doing things I’m not guilty of, he wouldn’t even trust me going to the shop to get milk. If I did he would ask why would I want to go and take my phone with me, when sometimes it’s just nice to go to he shop yourself for 10 minutes without children! And taking my phone with me is just a normal thing to do in this day of life isn’t it??

He is ridiculously manipulative, but now trying to turn the tables onto me saying I’m the control freak and I’m a bully.

I even have emails from his ex partner before me saying how he is a “controlling evil manipulative bully, not to mention physically abusive”. I know it was wrong of me to snoop through his emails but I just knew in my gut that I was right about this not being the first time to be so horrible to someone.

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