Hi, thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I will order those books now, thank you for mentioning those. I have had an abundance of support from women’s aid, including going into refuge for a really long time to escape him. I have had weekly meetings with a local IDVA, support from perinatal services and a psychologist as I suffer badly with my mental health, something that is always used against me by the children’s father. I am constantly on edge yet so dissociated because I’m trying desperately to hold myself together. I’m also one of those people who hate asking for help or admitting that I’m struggling so I suppress everything. I do feel as though I have completely lost my identity and my mind. As soon as I start thinking about one thing, it tailors off into something else and before I know it, I’m in a really dark place and I usually will clutch at anything just to feel normal. I think this is why I struggle so badly when making sense of all the abuse, because I’m bombarded by him when he tells me, all couples argue and the only reason he gets out of control is because he has a lot of passion towards me. I am also a very easy going person and will do anything to keep everyone happy, whether that is at my own expense. I am praying to God that the police help me tomorrow as I have such horrendous experiences with them.
Thanks again x
