IMALRIGHT

[IMALRIGHT]

Or you have to do what he likes other wise he’s horrendous big strop. I never realised this but it was that. To meet his needs. Numbing.

You get do used to doing what he wanted to make him happy then it’d be over with. Nothing connected with heart or love. Yet I felt I loved him believed it.

That makes me feel awful again. Programmed.
It’s strange this process.

[IMALRIGHT]

Thanks serenity and others.
Thankyou so much for reading and replying.

I thought I’d talked too much.

It’s nice to hear you get it.

The drama that is totally it. They learn that cycle and pattern, that’s what it is. And you are right the void then the kids think there still needs to be a big explosion.
You know it’s amazing though. Yesterday, my son swho is a little older than his sister actually walked around chatting and hugging her. He’s never done this ever.
It’s lovely seeing them talking together.
They don’t talk or ask. Then my daughter rill say I feel sorry for dad.

It’s really hard for them . He wanted us to go, it had to happen as his words were awful. Yet he says he loved us but worked hard to provide for us but couldn’t be with us easily, was always restless. Happiest playing hours on the computer or at the pub.
We did our own thing.
Until he’d come in and be awful to me.

I never realised how scared of him i have been fear all through my body.
I had a dream with him in, as if now meeting him when he knows I will not be with him, and in the surface he was calm polite to everyone else, but underneath he was seething. Awful.

Thanks for all of this, well done to all of you for which ever stage you are at keep going.
Grateful every day.

It is a delicious treat to have sweet days at home liking being at home pottering around . I never liked it that much. To be free of that dread takes a while.

Funny my son as soon as we got here, started creating his hair style and wanted wax and a comb.

[IMALRIGHT]

Hello!!
So my topic thankyou. I freeze just sit like a duck and swallow all the spikey comments. I have been clicked at, to shhhh when taking a phone call at work a work phone call. I’m valid too?!
So thanks for the discussion.

Here’s a question regarding children. When they say it’s boring now, I’ve moved countries new schools I’m working trying to get on top of house, keep them up to speed with their school work, friends, instrumentso, nature walks for sanity athe the weekend. But I’m on very low pay, receive no financial help from the ex.
And dealing with this madness when I can. Now my son said last week , it’s just so boring here, there’s nothing fun.
Which is so out of order! After all I’ve done I’m thinking in my head, he doesn’t realise and of course I’m not going to say ohh remember all the names he called us? But talk about never winning. I think he was angling for new tablet. Or he’s probably wanting something or its hud actually feelings it was devastating. How do you answer that?

[IMALRIGHT]

why on earth would someone want to give you run downs after a procedure. ‘get on with it’ style
what are all those put downs about?

glad you were free of it x

[IMALRIGHT]

Hi this is a first for me but what a treat t read your tale my tale. I moved countries with children. Can’t believe I did this. Can’t believe I was init. Nor that I’m out. Im isolated now as I was with him but at least I don’t have that dread. I really believed he loved me?

Do any of you have children and find the dynamic hard as when they domt get their own way they strop throw thing are really unreasonable?
Its like they still want to create the OK, OK, OK then massive bust up tanty explosive cry fest . they refuse to help around the home. I’ve managed them a few times but it’s struggle. Your opinions welcome.

When they are rude to me it trigger me feeling all cra** again and I’m Angry they say it but then scared they think calling !e those names is OK or ignoring me and saying no I won’t help you

[IMALRIGHT]

Wow!! Hello!!

Contact! I can’t tell you how excited I am that you guys replied! some others out there, who have been in this secret mad world that I have, now dealing again with all your own (detail removed by Moderator) closure issues, plus the fall out for the children, which of course he just hasn’t a clue – even though one of his key phrases was ‘you have NO idea!’, actually he really has no idea what we’ve put up with, and now dealing with but we are out. so first hello back and gosh that’s made a difference reading frm you.

Thanks for your ideas, how perfect – yes that’s exactly the answer. because it’s triggering me and making me grumpy big time and I don’t want to be to them, they don’t deserve any more garbage. it’s scarey thinking how this has affected them good ness knows and we’ll only find out when they are 18 or so. but you can only act now and be present now.
Do you find that what’s been really annoying is the situation ‘maddness’, has made you be less present as you’ve been dreading, thinking, trying to fix, worrying etc etc instead of just living? what a waste.
and that gets depressing, it’s nearly (detail removed by Moderator) so I’m sure it will go, but last night oh I was so low, even though We’ve got this far, we are in anew way of life, we aren’t socially in a network as I’m single mum – the kids from school have play dates but the parents don’t want to become my friends, I can’t tell them of the past as no one would understand. I feel they think i’m a bit of a (detail removed by Moderator) as I’ve moved a big move and they probably think I’m a real cow but they don’t know how little he wanted to be with us, the words he called me, the fact he gave me a document saying to go….

all without wanting to try counselling as I was suggesting for over (detail removed by Moderator) via texts, emails, etc.

so he must be happier now, he has not made any big effort to re kindle etc, but on a skype video he acts all ‘I’m alone, I’m struggling though, going for interviews trying my hardest” it doesn’t make any sense and makes me feel sick.
So I can’t look and have already spoken of him too much.
I want free of it all. It just doesn’t make sense. he was so horrible, so why send poor me videos? he didn’t like us at all? I don’t get it.
so I’m rambling, but I love your advice, I’ll try that . it feels horrible the skivvy thing.

I’m just amazed at my kids, little soldiers they deserve so much. I’m so sad they had to hear those words and feel that tension in the young years . It just makes me want to try and have massive fun together just for us we waited a long time for him to join us but we can just do it now.
thanks for being there.
any tips to battle the downward slope? I binge eat it’s not pleasant.thanks for any help

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