Iwanttobefree2020

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Hi All,

I just wanted to update you all that myself and my daughter made it out safely! It still feels a bit strange but we’re out with the support of family, friends and my work colleagues.

He of course has made many attempts to get in touch but I’m using a different phone.

I’ve given a statement to the police and I have also informed the school who have been very understanding. The school would like something in place before she returns to school. I have started the process with a non-molestation order but I was told I would need a prohibited steps order for my daughter and I’m struggling to get started with this, I just keep being told to call a number, then they tell me to call this number and I just feel like I’m being passed on to people. Has anyone got any experience of obtaining one of these or know who to contact to start the process?

But any info about rebuilding your life would be greatly appreciated! Xx

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Surfgirl, try not to go home. I’m hoping I won’t feel that way. My husband has been in a really good mood the past couple of days. Maybe it’s just a front because of the incident last weekend. But it’s hard when they act normally. I will read the my story that I have written just to remind myself why I need to leave. I know if I go back not only would my family be upset but I’d have child services on my back too and they’d likely remove my daughter. I’d rather choose my daughter than him 1000%

I think I will miss my house, hopefully eventually I will get it back though I probably won’t be able to afford it on my own.

I think Christmas will be strange this year for the majority of the world but ours are going to be just that little bit more stranger. But try your hardest not to return, my husband started with emotional abuse and being controlling. Then as time went on it got worse then it became physical. In the beginning of the physical abuse I did try to fight him back but I quickly learnt that when I did that he would just come back harder.

I think I’m going to have to keep myself very occupied, watch home alone with my daughter and have a few well deserved gin’s when I leave this week, I really hope it goes to plan. I managed to get some of our things to my sisters house today so that has lightened the load. Also found the passports and got them there too. I never thought about the marriage certificate, I might get that too if I can.

I’ll keep you all updated. I’m really nervous about fleeing this week, if it comes to it I may just have to leave the rest of our things I plan to take. I’d hopefully be able to get them another time.

You’re safe now keep telling yourself that and when all the restrictions are over you will be able to go out with your friends and properly be able to start living your new chapter and freedom.

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Ok thanks again. I don’t think I will be able to get the passport numbers, I don’t have a note of them anywhere either. I’ll keep looking for them when it’s safe to do so.

I’m really trying to be not one step ahead of him but two steps ahead and then some more. Using a constant poker face so he doesn’t suspect a thing. Trying to be careful not to let my daughter see in case she questions anything.

Thanks again for all the advice, it’s amazing. I’ve felt so alone for so long and now I realise how many other brave women (and men) are going through such an awful ordeal.

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Hi, thank you ladies for all your supportive comments. I poured my heart out to my sister yesterday on my way home (via Bluetooth of course in the car!) She explained that she had always thought he was controlling with me and she wasn’t surprised. She also explained that our parents had felt the same. It felt good to finally to open up. She of course wants to help me and her niece get out safely. But understandably she is really worried for mine and my daughters safety. We’re hoping to get out of here sooner rather than later. I think now if I’d spoken to my sister when I was planning to leave earlier this week I would’ve made it instead of unpacking the car. But I hadn’t told anybody what had been going on because I was so scared.

But my sister now knows and is helping me get the correct advice to get out of here. She’s making calls and researching on my behalf at the moment as it’s safer.

I’m struggling to get mine and my daughters passports. He has them, is it vital that I get them or can they be reported as lost/stolen?

Also if I manage to get an injunction put in place do you know if my daughter can attend the same school? She has been through enough and absolutely adores that school and so do I, she thrives there. It would be heartbreaking if she had to switch schools all because of him.

Thanks again for your wonderful comments and advice, this is a very special forum. When I can I will speak myself to woman’s aid, but obviously when it is safe for me to do so.

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Thank you, you have given me hope. I never saw the school as evidence, I saw it as oh no I’ve lied this is going to come back and haunt me. I don’t want my daughter to have to witness anything again and I want to teach her as she grows normal behaviours in a relationship.

[Iwanttobefree2020]

Thank you for your advice I shall definitely take it. I wrote an account to myself of some of the incidences I’ve been through but I can’t remember the dates. Will it still count as evidence?

Also a couple of years ago my daughter told a teacher that daddy shouts at mummy. The school called me up about it and I was with my in laws at the time of the call. I played it down and the school believed me. Will this have repercussions for not saying anything back then?

[Iwanttobefree2020]

This is the first time I’ve ever spoken of the abuse to anyone. Everyone likes him, everyone thinks he’s one of the good guys, successful, funny, intelligent. I think his parents may suspect something, they know he has a bad temper. But I’m frightened to talk to them about it in case they tell him. I’ve asked my sister if she is free to talk when I finish work, I plan to tell her. She currently doesn’t know either. So I haven’t spoken to my local woman’s aid yet either.

[Author]

Posts