Ladyluce

[Ladyluce]

I am sorry you are going through this. I am too, my husband was diagnosed with the big C in (month removed by Moderator). Verbal abuse has been dreadful. (timeframe removed by Moderator), I was called something I won’t write on here, a line has been crossed.

I had wrote a longer message to you, but twice it disappeared? before I posted. Verbal abuse has been a part of my life for many years, I ask myself why I am still here with him? Sometimes I feel sorry for him, and that things would get better, so I stayed, until the cycle of abuse started turning again. Now, I am made to feel as if I am a nuisance, and idiot, not worthy of love, or caring. I am never touched, or cuddled. (timeframe removed by Moderator), I was called that name because I never phoned him to let him know where I was, or, how long I would be, I was at our (location removed by Moderator).  Please, don’t make the mistake I have, they don’t change, only get worse.

[Ladyluce]

I know exactly what you are going through.Although I don’t get hit, I am often told to” shut up, or I will throw something at you”. I am told daily that what I say is a load of rubbish, and if only I knew how thick I was , I would improve my mind. I am told anyone hearing me talk for the first time will think , what a thicko, and how dumb and mindless I am. (Detail removed by Moderator). I know I shouldn’t have to justify my intelligence. I am average, sadly, not an academic, maybe, if I was I would gain his approval. However, I have been to university, studied for three years, and helped to financially support us for years, (detail removed by Moderator). I hate my life, every day ridiculed,shouted at,made to feel worthless. What a sad life isn’t it?

[Ladyluce]

I am in a similar position to you. I have been married for many years to a man who is more often than not, angry, short tempered,is always right, and generally a misery to be around. I have read about personality traits, and I think he has narsisstic tendencies, maybe your partner has this? If so, he will never change, in fact, he will get worse. With my husband, the slightest thing will trigger a rage, dinner cooked half an hour too late, buying the wrong foods, me coming back home half an hour late,angry becauseI haven’t lost any weight,(detail removed by Moderator)  ( I am not obese, I am size 12 to 14), but, as he says,” he hates fat women”. I am thick, stupid,a drongo, and that everyone thinks this whenever I open my mouth, and that I cannot be trusted to say the right thing. I am almost daily told that everyone I meet,says (detail removed by Moderator). These put downs has seriously impacted on my mental health. This is not a normal relationship, I know this, but I have stayed in it. Now, I have made a decision to leave , it will be hard, but, for my own health I must do it. I have tried to make our marriage work, even to the extent of putting up with his behaviour, due to his ill health. I regret not leaving him years ago, I had a good job as a professional, but again, I thought things would get better when he would be ” nice”. Things never will get better, so, leave as soon as you can, and start to enjoy life, as you only get one chance. Good luck, I wish you well. Sorry for rambling on, but, don’t make the same mistake as me.

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