littlewing

[littlewing]

My boyfriend really wants me to have a baby. I’m(detail removed by moderator) and in poor health so I’ve told him no. Plus we can’t swing it financially. I believe he wants to tie me down with a baby. It’s also an ego boost for a narcissist to replicate his genes.

I have an IUD, so no worries there. Plus my eggs are no good anymore.

[littlewing]

Thank you. No,(detail removed by moderator) isn’t isolated. We are staying (detail removed by moderator) is always full of people.

I will keep posting.

How do I get notification emails when I get new responses?

[littlewing]

No I definitely couldn’t say that! God knows how he would react. He needs constant assurance that sex is the best with him and that I don’t need a huge penis to be satisfied (his is average). Now he tries to make up for the comment about my vagina by praising it, but that insecurity will never go away now.

I definitely believe in the trauma bond. That two hours or so that I thought we were over, it was like I was losing a limb. It was almost worse than death. It’s hard to describe.

We are going away (detail removed by moderator). The last time we went to this place ((detail removed by moderator)), he made a joke about my sexual history and when I got mad at him, he cut himself. Needless to say, I’m a bit apprehensive, but I am excited about getting away.

I’ll keep coming back. Thank you everyone.

[littlewing]

Thank you. Kudos to you for getting out. I guess the good is still outweighing the bad for me.

I’m focusing on saving money so I have a month’s rent in savings in order to give myself time to find a roommate. If that isn’t possible my plan is to leave without giving 30 days notice to my landlord, put my stuff in storage, and stay with a friend until I figure things out. I’m the type of person who hates to lean on others so the second option would be really hard for me. I make too much money to qualify for any type of housing aid, but too little to have savings.

Another thing he did after I made the first post is he told me my vagina isn’t tight enough. I have to say this is the most hurtful and humiliating thing a man has ever said to me. He even compared me with his ex wife. It was vile.

[littlewing]

Hi HopeLifeJoy. I’ve been in touch with the Domestic Violence Hotline here (detail removed by moderator)and they’ve given me a lot of great tips. We are pretty financially independent so that’s not an issue. I just have an intense fear of having to live with a stranger if we break up. I have a lot of time during the week of for self care because I work days and he works nights.

My therapist encouraged me to talk to friends and family about what’s going on but I don’t want them to hate him. But it makes me feel pretty alone in the situation. Having the support here and through the hotline helps a lot.

Thanks for your support and kindness.

[littlewing]

Thanks everyone. For better or worse, we made up. I told him if he has another angry outburst we’re through. I know it’s a risky decision, but I feel like I want to give him another chance.

[littlewing]

Hi Flowerchild. Well, here I am almost a year later and still with him. However, we just broke up. I’m very scared of what he might do. I’m in (detail removed by moderator).

I’m also very worried about my housing situation. I have no savings to transition me while I look for a roommate.

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