Milkpop

[Milkpop]

This is helpful advice. Thank you.

I will have to get my stuff eventually. There are important documents in my flat I cannot just abandon. In my perfect dream world I would go back and he and I will reconcile and be happy but I know this will not be the case. He will be so angry. He is already very angry I know this. When I go back I plan on having my friends with me. I know they will keep me grounded and he wont try anything with them around. He has always made sure when he hit me that there were no witnesses.

[Milkpop]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience.

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying…. We once went on holiday as well to somewhere very far. When we got there it was the coldest winter the place had in years…We had an argument. He wanted to go out to a nightclub and we were pre-drinking in our aribnb. We ended up not going out because some other friends in our group were not too keen on getting drunk/partying. He blamed me for not pushing the group enough to drink and that I did not think about how stressful he had been feeling as he was the one who had planned the trip. I ended up outside in the cold with nothing but my a dress on in a not so very safe part of town. I remember slamming on the entrance and asking him and his best friend to let me in and that it was freezing. His best friend turned to let me in and he stopped him and said “leave her” and they went upstairs. I remembered feeling so alone. I had nothing on me. No money, no phone. Nothing around me was open and I was freezing. I was outside for 2 hours and got very sick afterwards. He said sorry and of course I forgave him. Looking back I can see that it was another one of his “lessons”.

[Milkpop]

In all honesty I am scared to report anything. He is very charming and charismatic and a very good speaker/debater. his family are involved in politics and are very well to do. He has influence in my small university town. People look up to him (he is professionally very accomplished). He is also vindictive. I know this for a fact from how he has treated friends who have “crossed” him. If I report him and I put his work in jeopardy he will stop at nothing to get back at me. He has the structural power, influence and the financial resources to ensure I will have as hard a life as he can make.

I do not know if I am saying this because I know him well or if he has manipulated me to the point where I am/will be too scared to ever do anything to harm him. Either way I fear the consequences if I choose to report him. I would rather just leave him and get on with my life.

[Milkpop]

Thank you for your reply Chickadee

Your words are sobering. Thank you for your advice. I think I have spent so long rationalising his behaviour it is hard for me to recognise if something is not okay. It is even harder as this is the first time I have ever been involved with someone romantically. The good I magnify and the bad I brush away because he is my “first love”.

[Author]

Posts