moondaisy

[moondaisy]

I often find that when I try to list or describe all the abuse I give up after a few points because it just doesn’t cut it.

Trying to explain the exhausting cycle of being repeatedly worn down. Arguments that last for hours that are so confusing you can’t even remember what you were arguing about.

I’m so sorry about what you’re going through. I really appreciate you replying to my thread and helping me, and I hope all good things come your way.
Maybe it would be best to just start writing anything that comes to mind, and just keep going until you have a lot of bullet points. The more you write down the less it’ll all be whirling around in your head and you can organise it all later.

Best of luck ;_;

[moondaisy]

I ended up calling him in a panic with my heart pounding and feeling sick.

He has said before that if it ever bothers me I can talk to him about it any time and he’ll answer any questions I need answering. I asked him again tonight to please just promise me it didn’t mean anything. And he promised it meant nothing and that he loves me and he’s with me and that nothing like that will ever happen again.

I feel like I’m torturing us both with this and I don’t know how to stop bringing it up. It’s not fair on him at all.

He can’t take back what he did and he’s apologised countless times. All I can do is forgive and move on or not forgive and break up. But I love him so much and I don’t want to do that. So the only option is to find a way to get over it.
Considering looking for private therapy.

[moondaisy]

You haven’t done anything wrong and he most definitely has been terrible and has treated you wrongly. You are well within your right to seek distance and legal action against him for throwing things and verbally abusing you and your children.

[moondaisy]

Hi! Thank you so much <3

It really is more difficult than you’d think, isn’t it? Before and during the relationship I was one of those people who said “I’d never let someone treat me like that” and then I went and got stuck in that situation. It just shows how insidious and subtle the behaviour is. I’ve had a lot of time to think last night and I’ve reminded myself of why things were so bad and why I had to leave. My health had deteriorated very quickly and everyone around me was so relieved I broke up with him.

Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. You made me smile and I’m very excited to stay around the forums ^_^

[moondaisy]

Thank you so much for your replies <3

I think I just really needed reassurance because I had it in my mind that if I typed out what he was like then people would say “you’re upset over that? Toughen up!” because he always told me that our relationship was amazing compared to other people’s and that a lot of people were jealous of our wonderful relationship and I threw away something fantastic.

I do know deep down that how he treated me was wrong, but it’s helpful for me to be able to seek that reassurance. I just think I have been very hesitant about calling it abuse because he pointed out I was accusing him of a horrible crime and that if I continued to discuss it he would call the police. This really frightened me and I haven’t wanted to call it abuse to myself or anyone else for fear that it would get back to him and he’d drag me through legal procedings.

It makes sense why therapists/counsellors wouldn’t “diagnose” as I know they can’t know the psychology of someone they haven’t met. I should probably have more confidence in what I know to be the truth, it’s just really hard when nobody else was witness. Though the reason I addressed it was because a couple of friends suggested they didn’t like the way he was talking to me.

I really appreciate the comfort and reassurance and I feel much better already, my heart has been pounding all evening with anxiety about it and it’s finally easing. It’s frustrating because I reach out/help others with emotionally abusive situations all the time. I know the signs, I know the mentality, but it’s just so hard to apply it to myself and believe that really did all happen to me.

Thank you again, I will keep working on my self confidence in this situation and hopefully stick around the forums n_n

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