MThome

[MThome]

Oh My Goodness – how wonderful is this forum!!

You guys have no-idea (or maybe you do ;o)) how amazing it is to hear that other women are feeling the same way I do, dealing with the same situations and having similar emotional responses to them – having confirmation of that is the most incredible gift – Thank you all so much for sharing! xx

The ‘survivor isolation’ is one of the hardest things to cope with – this alleviates that – there are people that understand – there are people who believe you – there are people who see what you are dealing with – relief!

my ex displays all the classic abuser behaviors – denial, a huge hate campaign which is constant and ongoing – he posts all over social media – even stealing my credit card statements and posting a photo of them and sending out copies to all and sundry as I bought myself underwear ( he wouldn’t let me have any new underwear for the last (detail removed by moderator) years we were together – therefore it was one of my firsts acts of freedom!) He writes fictitious e-mails as if they are from me which talk about people, my friends or family in a derogatory manner and presents them to those people telling them – “you never knew her – look what she says about you!” – he maintains a constant ‘noise’ in my life via the e-mail – or via third parties who he contacts and tells them to in turn contact me – I think its all to try and keep me in that ‘fuzzy brain’ state that you get into where you cant think straight through all the crap! I fight really hard not to let that happen but occasionally it gets too much!

I’m hoping one day he will run out of energy – I never respond, I only respond to the e-mails when an answer is required for the access arrangements and then only in a short efficient manner – I dont wish to fan the flames!

I’m free and I’m staying that way! ;o)

xxxx

[MThome]

Thank you everyone x

I like the idea of a contact book – but as I say the Judge in the child access case insisted that a direct communication line be open – prior to that I was at ‘no contact’ – i was forced to provide and e-mail account for his use – I think I shall have another attempt at getting help from the police, if nothing comes from it it will at least log that I still feel there is an issue of Harassment for the next time we go to court.

We have an access order in place that is very prescriptive – but he simply cant stick to arrangements and/or agreements and so even though it has only been in place for 3 months he is currently launching a new battle to increase his contact rights – he wants to get access to my home phone line and the right to call the children daily, he wants to get access to pick-up and drop off at my property,this currently happens at my parents place so that I don’t have to be present – as he has now realized that he doesnt actually have any ‘window’ to me he’s ramping up his behavior with threats to try and get me to be present at drop off – saying that me not being there is proof that I don’t care about my children (they are my world!) – he’s even saying he’s going to social services to get me investigated as he says that ‘not caring enough to be there to collect them’ at drop off suggest detachment and ‘unfit mothering’

I am 100% positive that any investigation into my parenting skills will absolutely affirm my ability to care for them emotionally, physically, practically and mentally!!

I just get low because i naively thought that once the access order was in place that would be a tool to distance him and it would be one less thing for him to affect control through – oh how wrong was I – it simply an added tool in his arsenal of abuse weaponry – he ‘hits’ me with it repeatedly!!! It’s hard to maintain focus on the end of the tunnel when the light appears to be firmly out!

sorry – ranting xx

[MThome]

The police simply are NOT interested – he never threatens physical harm to me or our children so they say its not harassment.

That’s what I mean about getting my voice heard – I feel i’m not listened to

[Author]

Posts