Muddypuddles

[Muddypuddles]

Hello.. It’s been a few months since I ended my relationship with my ex, yet he still continues to message me. A month ago he messaged to ask how I was and, what I’d been up to etc, just general chit chat. I sent short blunt but polite replies yes/no/fine etc. He then asked for an back (that hed bought me) which I returned to him via a go between.. His general chit chat continued (I never initiated any contact, just replied). The messages then got nasty asking for another item back which I returned. Nice texts resumed, he then asked for another item. So I returned everything he’d ever got me, everything, and asked him not not contact me anymore. But.. He continues to message, apologetic texts at first (for his nasty messages), followed by asking me to take back the stuff I’d returned so he can move on. Since sending everything back I’ve replied to none of his messages, and he continues with the nice texts, despite saying he’d leave me alone..
I’m feeling like i’m going slightly crazy. I don’t miss him, but I miss the good memories if that makes sense? I feel sorry for him. I feel angry with him too though. I know I can block his messages etc, but I haven’t.. Why? I’m not sure why and that’s why I’m beating myself up. Why can’t I just let go? There’s nothing to hold onto, but I can’t let go?? I feel like I shouldn’t block him because that wouldn’t be nice, I feel like I would be retaliating by doing that, somehow dropping to his level. What if i bump into him? But at the same time I know I need to block him because its not helping me to move on. Each time a message from him pops up, it leaves me on edge or thinking of the good or bad memories depending on if it’s a nice or nasty text. Feel like I’m pretty much losing the plot at the moment. I just want to let go and cut him off but nicely. How mad is that!
Thanks for listening x

[Muddypuddles]

Thanks for your replies. It’s so confusing, one minute I’m thinking how rubbish I felt within the relationship, unhappy, unloved, taken for granted and afraid to speak my feelings for fear of provoking an unneeded reaction. Next I’m feeling guilty for leaving someone with a mental illness and for not trying harder and believing its all my fault??
I decided to send a ‘closure’ email to him on (day removed by moderator) as I felt I needed to explain my reasons for ending the relationship. I explained about it being the angry behaviour etc and not the Bipolar that was the deciding factor. It’s just something I felt I needed to do. (detail removed by moderator)
He had been sending texts prior to this saying that he’s seeing his Dr and upped his meds and even though we’re not together could we still do (detail removed by moderator) stuff together. He’s also mentioned that he’s cleared out his back room to make a workout area.. He telling me about all the stuff I asked him if we could do over the time we were together. Why does he want to do it all now? In other texts prior to the nice ones he was commenting how I was worthless and not worth his time, how if he thinks he has problems I should take a look at my family first, and how shallow he thinks I am for leaving someone with Bipolar.
I heard no more from him since his email reply to me on (day removed by moderator). But he’s texted again this morning to say ‘hi just seeing how you are’ (detail removed by moderator).. Me being me, I want to reply just to say yep I’m fine, but I’m guessing that’s not a good idea. I’m finding it tough at the mo coz despite everything I did love him. I know that sounds silly considering how I was treated. I feel a bit all over the place at this moment in time x

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