Needtomoveon

[Needtomoveon]

Thank you Starling star, I’m keeping daily diary now which is helping to remind me when I keep losing my nerve, I also made a list of all the reasons for and against staying, the list for staying has 2 things on it, the other one has about 30 which says it all. I think I will make a list of steps to take and do it one at a time. I was helping my daughter move (detail removed by Moderator) and was away all day (lovely) and he’d bought me wine and food and was in a good mood when I came back, within one hour he’d list his temper with my other school age daughter who has quite significant mental health problems and was shouting and swearing at her (detail removed by Moderator)that he’d confiscated. I challenged him for speaking to her like that and he turned on me, saying he would tell everyone that it’s my fault she’s the way she is because I don’t support him in disclipining her. I fully support boundaries but not the nastiness and vile language that just makes her own self loathing and desire to hurt herself worse. I feel like an awful mother for keeping her in this situation when I can change it. I need to make my plan and once I I am in a position to do it alsoget help from the people who love me too. Thank you for replying.

[Needtomoveon]

Many of these describe my husband of (detail removed by Moderator) years perfectly. I have just had what started as a lovely evening turn sour very quickly, he was swearing and shouting at our (detail removed by Moderator) yr old daughter because she could’nt describe (detail removed by Moderator). She has lots of mental health problems and he says she’s the one destroying our family, not him. He’s always telling me she’s a t**t, makeup looks like a whore etc etc. The way he speaks about our children is disgusting. He calls our autistic son a d*CK and an idiot regularly. I’m writing this knowing how wrong it is, why haven’t I got the courage to leave. It breaks my heart when our son says it’s not Dad’s fault, he can’t control his anger. They all know that it’s not ok to be spoken to like they are because I tell them but my daughter’s can’t understand why I’m still with him. I don’t know how to make the decision to go. I know my son won’t understand, he idolises his dad no matter what he does. Why do I let myself get taken in over and over again?

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