Notmenow

[Notmenow]

I’ve not received counselling. I have no contact whatsoever with this man or his family/freinds. It’s cus he followed me to where I currently live he found out my address and also recently he unexpectedly after X amount of years sent her a birthday present which he has never got her a thing let alone pay child support since she was born. This man actually makes me feel sick.

[Notmenow]

I hope you don’t mind me joining in… I left my violent ex (detail removed by Moderator) years ago. Our daughter turned (detail removed by Moderator)h. It took me about three years to start to feel a little myself again after I left. I literally left with nothing, pennyless on mat leave and in a refuge with an (detail removed by Moderator). Now I feel more alive with a good job, flat and daughter doing well. He has never bothered with her he only wanted a baby to start the control and abuse with me). I’ve never denied contact even though I didn’t want to cus of his drink, drugs and violence but he never wanted to know her. On the random occasion he did see her it was so he could try and get back with me. Anyway, I thought I’d got over him (I mean as in I hate him and will NEVER get back with him. I still have flash backs of the stuff he did and it scares me still). But since her birthday when he (she was (detail removed by Moderator) and never sent her a thing and last year said he couldn’t remember the date) posted her a birthday present. She didn’t know who it was from and tossed it to one side a carried on playing but it hurt me cus I feel like he’s doing it to let me know he’s still around. He’s been to prison, community service, fines, banned from driving etc and even on a suspended sentence now. I feel like (detail removed by Moderator)years on he’s still there in my head. I recently had a phone call from a police woman (after an incident in (detail removed by Moderator)) where clearly nobody previously had read any notes cus she picked up on everything and said she’s going to file a complaint for me due to lack of compassion or something like that. She asked me if I wanted to pursue any of the ‘rape’ and stuff. I said no cus I can’t deal with the stress and going all through what he did over and over again and I know he will get away with it. No point putting myself through hell to see him smirking across the court room. The last officers who attended an incident in (detail removed by Moderator) were two males. They were so upsetting. They didn’t believe a word I was saying and was totally on his side and even said I should let him in. In MY home!!! I gave up MY lovely family home to get away from him and left him there to destroy it for a council flat with security and the police said I should let him in cus he’s homeless. I was fuming and kicked them out. Like I said (detail removed by Moderator) years on and still have dread he will turn up or be seen around (I live in town where there are busy shopping centres). I have applied to move home but unless I win the lottery that’s not happening. It’s like one big stress being relived just cus he sent a birthday present. Like an old wound has opened up.
Sorry for the rant. I am so angry this week, I needed to scream it off 🙁

[Notmenow]

Thanks for your replies. I live close to family and friends but the difficult thing is they are not supportive… probably because they don’t understand and haven’t been through it themselves. I try not to talk to my friends about it and my family just seem like it’s all above their head trying to get them to really understand. I have a few close people I can talk to, my boss in great and my neighbours are too.

There is a pattern where he stays away when he’s sucking off of someone else and then when they’ve had enough or something goes wrong he’s back at my door. I’m so much stronger now and don’t fall for him at all but still feel like he’s hanging around. We have a (detail removed by Moderator) year old together who he isn’t interested in. He pressured me into having a baby when I wasn’t ready and now I know it was so he can control me ‘forever’ using her as a reason to pop back in my life whenever he needs ‘drug’ money or has been made homeless for not paying his rent.

An non-molestation order is an injunction that stops him from coming near me, contacting me, getting others to contact me for him, stalking etc. It only lasts 12 months though. The last time I got one it worked but as soon as it expired he was back.

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