Oneproudmama

[Oneproudmama]

Feeling low and useless again. Cooked ham egg and chips for dinner. He came in after we’d eaten so I cooked his separately and I left the eggs on the side.
He came into the kitchen and asked where our son was?
I replied outside putting something in the bin.
Our daughter said “no he’s not he’s outside breaking an egg”
He completely lost it, shouted at him, smacked him on the back of the head as he came in and then said “ as usual I’ve had to do the discipline as you haven’t bothered”
I replied that I honestly thought he was just putting something in the bin and he called me a liar basically and said I’d known what he was doing as he ‘must have walked past me with the egg in his hand’. He then claimed it was only a tap on the head. Fair enough it wasn’t a hard hit but any ‘tap’ at all is too much in my opinion?
Then he had a go at me again because the same child burst our daughters birthday balloon from last week and I hadn’t punished him.
I just feel like I honestly can’t do any right and he constantly makes me out to be a bad mum. I’ve gone on a depressive mood again now and don’t want to talk to anyone. He makes me feel totally worthless. Why couldn’t he have praised me for the fact that I’d bathed the kids, done the washing, cleaned the house, got everyone’s uniforms ready for the morning, been shopping, fed the pets and cooked everyone dinner before he’d got home? All he did was focus on the 2 bad things that happened after he’d got in?
Is it normal for them to always focus on the negative and never praise at all? Is it part of their tactic to put us down? Don’t understand why he has to be so mean when he’s literally just walked in the door?

[Oneproudmama]

All of the 9 kids we have together and none with anyone else?
Our 2 eldest are (detail removed by moderator) and they beg me to throw him out all of the time!
He stonewalls me. If we argue he can literally go weeks giving me the silent treatment. He makes me feel like everything is my fault.
He shouted at me infront of everyone at my dads funeral (detail removed by moderator). I was so embarrassed. Our son has autism and he has no patience with him. When my aunt saw him shouting at our son she stepped in and now he says she’s not allowed anywhere near any of our kids! She called(detail removed) and said I used to be so bubbly and outgoing and I’ve become constantly anxious and quiet and the family are worried.
If I saw one of my friends enduring this treatment I’d tell them to run a mile and don’t look back but can’t seem to imagine life on my own after (detail removed) years?
Even his own friends have said I could do so much better and they can’t see what I see in him?

[Oneproudmama]

I’m so scared that I’d i escalate things it will make it worse? I’m also worried that the kids will resent me for throwing their dad out. They are picking up on it. (detail removed by moderator)
I try not to cry in front of the kids. Whenever I confront him on his behaviour he always says I’m making it out to be worse than it is? It makes me question whether I’m over reacting? He always turns it around on me. Everyone says I’m a brilliant mum and the kids are lovely but he tells me “you’re not bringing them up you’re dragging them up”.
They hate it when he screams and shouts and will cry but if I say I’m throwing him out they beg me not to? He’ll often deny things I bring up with him and make them out to be not as bad or justify what he’s done? It makes me question my own sanity?

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