Shouldistayorgo

[Shouldistayorgo]

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply. It really has been a massive help
When I start thinking about him, I come on here instead.

My sister came round yesterday when I was having a bad day. What really hit home was when she struggled to hold back her tears when I told her about the last incident. That made me realise that actually, I’m not being a drama queen that he is making me out to be. She also said something very important, and embarrassingly something I have not thought about in the last couple of weeks and my own selfish emotions have taken over. She said “I don’t mean this to sound harsh but it doesn’t really matter what you feel about him right now, it matters what is happening around your two girls and how it’s affecting them”.

My god that really hit home when she said that.

Today has been a really good day actually. I’ve spent time with family and my girls and smiled and laughed. Tomorrow I have to see him when he comes for my youngest. So no doubt I will be back on here with a range of new emotions!

Thank you all for listening to me and helping.

[Shouldistayorgo]

I do have people but my mum is on holiday at the moment which is hard. I feel like I don’t want to tell anyone else yet as it is so new and raw. Tbh I don’t want to look like a fool neither if I take him back.

Something in me still stays he can change, but it will be too late for us once he has actually realised what he has done.

[Shouldistayorgo]

I’m struggling this morning. It’s been ( detail removed by moderator) nights of us deciding to split for good. (detail removed by moderator) since he moved out. I’ve got my 2 daughters here which is helping me through. But as I feared, I am starting to miss him even though yesterday I was absolutely fine, was glad to see the back of him. Today I woke up with a feeling of dread. Not sure how I deal with it.

[Shouldistayorgo]

I do feel safe, maybe I am naive about it but I think he probably thinks give it a couple of days and I’ll be begging him back. That has happened before and I really hope I can stay strong this time. For the first time ever, I looked at him sat on “his” chair, and was disgusted with him, it was as if I could see right through him.

I need to stay strong but I’m worried. I need to make sure I keep coming back here and reading comments.

Thank you for your concern.

[Shouldistayorgo]

Thank you KIP. So I looked up cycle of abuse, and that is definitely what has been happening. Milder for the last couple of years but more prevalent in the last few months, going through that cycle quicker and more often.

I can see him for what he has. We have just sat down to talk as I wanted to sort out living arrangements. This time I was so calm as I could see exactly what he was trying to do – with his manipulation. I was just laughing to myself inside thinking I know what you’re trying to do!

I am very proud of myself. We’ve made an arrangement that hopefully will work for both of us. He has gone now. I could see it in him how frustrated he was getting with me acting completely different to the usual pathetic, begging wife I am. It riled him, I could see it. But now he has gone I feel like a massive weight has been lifted. I have taken my wedding ring off.

I don’t know if this will be forever, whi knows. But this is the first time in months I have felt in control of my own destiny.

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