Siddens

[Siddens]

Thanks confused123. A friend gave me that book a while ago but I his it away. I’ve been reading it the last few days and it’s really helping to make sense of the situation. Also coming on here whenever I feel low. Xx

[Siddens]

Hi Missnobody
I’m also new and just found this site a few days ago. Its been a lifeline and I’m so grateful for the support. Its very difficult to accept what is happening and its easy to feel alone but after reading others stories I’ve found so many to be a mirror image of my own.
I totally understand how you feel. The temper then the false promises. I believe my partner doesn’t believe he has a problem and only promises to never do it again to “make up” then the cycle starts again. My biggest regret was accepting the first outburst. I set a president. I allowed it. Its easy to make allowances for someone you love though. I kept on taking the hard times and trying to justify his behaviour as he had money worries, ill parent etc. When really there is no excuse for that behaviour.
I hope you get help and strength from here
xx

[Siddens]

Thanks everyone this is really helping me and I can see sense in why I feel the way I do. When I first met my partner he would tell me he couldn’t believe how lucky he was, he was scared I would leave him as I was too good etc. How proud he was to walk into a room with me. Now he tells me that I’m lucky he’s hung around as not many men would be interested in a mum of 3. How he finds it hard and not sure if he will stick around. His favourite saying is he’s taking it one day at a time with me. Yet he lives in my home and pays me very little towards the bills. It’s just hit me – he’s gone from one extreme to the other. No wonder I’m confused xx

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Thank you Healthyarchive. It is an obsessive relationship. I find it hard to believe how much so. I was with my ex husband for (detail removed by Moderator)yrs and I never felt the bond or desperateness that I have with this partner. I have been manipulated. A friend of mine bought me books about 6 months ago (before she said she had to distance herself). They were re abusive relationships. I never took them out of the glove compartment in my car as I thought she was just being a “busybody” and I didn’t need to read them. I’m going to take them out tonight.
I’m sorry to read that you have been through this yourself xx

[Siddens]

Thank you so much Suntree. Yes reality is a completely different thing. The denial thing is the worst. I can see exactly what you mean re “abused enough”. I keep thinking “am I making mountains out of molehills?” and maybe I do deserve it. Even joining this forum. I think do I belong here am I worthy enough? Its like its not really happening. I’ve only shown one very close friend my arms which was last night. I was shocked at her reaction. I only took the one arm out and she started to sob. She was so upset and I felt terrible as I couldn’t see why she would get so upset. I felt terrible burdening her with it. I guess you just become hardened to it and used to the bruises xx

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