Skylife

[Skylife]

Thank you to all of you for replying. I’m so so grateful. It’s crazy to me that is familiar to other people as for a long time I did think I was going mad. He can be the nicest person in the world and that’s why it’s so hard for me to get my head around the bad behaviour.

I’ll definitely have a look at the books you’ve both recommended.

Unfortunately we had booked to go on a holiday not too far in the future. Which is all on my credit card so will now have to deal with the financial side of things as well as I’m still blocked! The weirdest thing is that he would never hold money from me normally. He’s the most generous person I know so I have no idea what’s going to happen with that xx

[Skylife]

Thank you, that’s a really thoughtful reply and I feel really emotional reading it. That’s exactly what I needed to hear in a way. I am devastated and just feel broken by it all. I didn’t think he ever could be violent, but when he kicked me out the other night, I was knocking to try and get back in but he kicked the door from the other side so hard whilst calling me a C**t. Then threatened to pour cold water over me if I refused to leave the doorstep. These last few days I have wanted to just talk this over with him but I am starting to see I now need to make the decision and walk away myself and take back some control of my life. Thank you again xx

[Skylife]

Thank you for being so nice. At the moment he’s blocked me and stupidly I want him to unblock me so I have the chance to communicate the reasons I’ve been feeling how I have. But again I know that’s not the right thing to even want. I shouldn’t want to speak to him and should be angry and hurt enough to block him out. I keep getting stuck in the same cycle over and over again xx

[Skylife]

Thank you for replying. It sounds ridiculous that should want to apologise but I made such a big deal about the fact I (detail removed by moderator)… so when I got caught out in the lie it just made it worse. But the reaction was extreme. He stamped on my foot, not particularly hard but it happened. I also got a slight push on the shoulders at the top of the stairs. He’s taken away expensive items that he bought for me because I’m not deserving of them. They were presents but I don’t really have a leg to stand on other than I pay the bills.
it is completely true that it’s not worth staying for ‘stuff’ and I hate that I even think it is. I also am in a situation where I just have a job and clothing. I just can’t stop thinking of the good things that we have done and how he is when everything is good. I would love to know why I am wired to believe that I don’t deserve better. My parents are the best role models of a good relationship so I can’t even explain it. I also have step children that I adore and will be losing along with everything else x

[Skylife]

@scapegoat… wow this rings so true with me it’s unbelievable! I just can’t believe I’ve only just realised this is what I’m going through! Xx

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