SpiritandHope

[SpiritandHope]

Thank you KIP. I felt strong enough to break free free because hid behaviour was disgusting and so unhealthy. My worries are also for his next victim, who I’m sure he may already have on radar or at least trying to scope out. It really lays heavy on my heart that they use the words ‘I love you’ to justify their behaviour. Love is the opposite to what we experience on the receiving end of them. Thanks again I will take out the injunction and get guidance on this asap. X

[SpiritandHope]

Bibi my heart was breaking reading your post. The verbal abuse and specific things he said to you are almost a mirror of what my ex partner said to me. Despite me emotionally and finiancially supporting him for months when he was unemployed and roller coaster mood swings. There is nothing you could have done to reduce his behaviour. I am in a similar stage to you but without a little one to look after. You have been blessed with your beautiful baby so you must make sure you put all your loving focus towards her. You will heal just like I will. Nothing we would have done would have been enough. That’s part of their manipulation and control. You can do this! One day at a time. Contact the national domestic violence helpline and they can put you in touch with your local service. I’m due a call from one of their specialists tomorrow. Lots of love to you.

[SpiritandHope]

Thanks Nova. I just read your other reply regarding the money too. It’s a sour thing for my ego to accept that I had willingly given away so much of my hard earned money, when he knew all along he likely wasn’t going to return it, despite telling me he will. I’m not prepared to meet him face to face at all. It was just a phone call to see if he would comply at all. But reading through all the other posts on here, I’m so sad that I was so silly. he has  sent me a Facebook request after blocking me . I’m ignoring it as I know it’s part of the game. I even gave him one last £(detail removed by moderator) on the very last day (detail removed by moderator). My whole being is floored at this manipulation and my giving up in defeat just to get him out of my life.
You’re right things will improve with time for me. I will build myself back up with the support of ladies like you!

[SpiritandHope]

Thank you to you both. It is absolutely a see saw of thoughts and emotions. I read through his last (very very long) message to me again today. The purity and innocence of words makes my stomach churn with confusion, sadness and resentment. His mention of going to church and praying for his ‘stability’ that was missing when we had our ‘miscommunications’ is also fascinating yet very scary. His mind and thought patterns are beyond what I can interpret. I’ll never understand but I myself pray for a healthy man when the time is right. I will also never rush into anything or believe the loving words so quickly. Lots of blessings for your continued healing and journey.

[SpiritandHope]

Hi fridges,
Thanks so much for your reply and recommendation of the book. It’s true we are left feeling like did I really just put up with and experience all that?! Then the confusion over who they truly were sets in. We will never really know. And it’s healthier for us probably never to know as it’s too disturbing. Best of luck with your continued healing. Lots of blessings!

[SpiritandHope]

Thankyou mellowyellow (love your username!)
That means a lot. I’m a huge romantic at heart and very old fashioned. He ticked all the right boxes. It scares me to think that people convince themselves they are holy and good at heart, when they see nothing wrong with intimidation. He was physically and sexually abused as a child and teenager. I read that often anger and blame is a learned behaviour. Perhaps that is the case but I will never really know.
My ego is telling me I need to try and get the money back he owes me, but I know he will use this asda weapon. Then I just want to chalk it up to experience and leave it all and block him. Enough is enough. It just hurts me to see him crying and saying he loves me. But that’s the hook he uses I guess.

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