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    • #85667
      Sunshine1212165
      Participant

      I found it hard to actually say, I’m leaving because you are abusive. I knew I’d be shot down for saying that.

      It was only when I got the court involved and got an injunction and eventually social services got involved, because of the way he was behaving (my constant calls to the police and the hell I was living with), that they told him it was ‘domestic violence’.

      Of course he denied it was abusive and said I’d made it up, that I was a liar etc. It was really quite hard to deal with, because you start questioning if it was ‘violence or abuse’, even though you already know it was. I really do think that’s just proof to yourself that it really was, because you are questioning your own judgement.

      My ex even now says all I’ve ever done is lie about everything. He will never accept any responsibility for what he did or does. But I’ve had many people speak to him and deal with him to confirm that he really is.

      I can understand why you feel afraid to say it. But it is what it is. If you don’t feel comfortable saying it to him then don’t, but don’t feel bad for telling other people the truth. You know what happened. Try not to let him scare you for opening up, I know how hard that is.

    • #85415
      Sunshine1212165
      Participant

      Also my ex boyfriend who i believe is the father, has nothing to do with me now.

      He was completely heartbroken when I told him about my abusive ex being in the situation. I so wish I could turn back time. He has said he wants to know once the baby is born and then have a dna test and go from there. So no problems from him.

    • #85413
      Sunshine1212165
      Participant

      Thank you for replying xx

      Unfortunately the only 3rd party we occasionally use was his parents, but the last time I tried going through them, my ex said they won’t get involved anymore.

      I know what you are saying, I just feel cornered by my ex right now. I think the fear of him threatening to make me look like an idiot in court and in front of other professionals is what I’m worried about more than anything. I feel so ashamed about the whole situation. I know he can be so nasty, he will no doubt try and humiliate me more.

      I have now got in touch with my local dv support and I’m seeing them next week. I hope they will be able to help me with this. I’m also speaking to my old solicitor as he’s still refusing to let the children come back to me. I’m completely stressed and upset. He’s messaged me today to ask how the unborn baby is, saying ‘how’s my baby?’, he’s just assuming it’s his, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. He just won’t accept what I’m saying. I only replied to ask how the kids were. I hate him so much.

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