Tired123

[Tired123]

Hi Azure Skys,

I also posted for the first time a few days ago so thought I would just say hello.
I am in the process of making plans to leave my partner and move out. Your post really struck a chord with me as I also have a son who is not my partners and since we moved in with him every day the moaning has worn me down. Too much toilet paper being used, shoes being left out, toilet seat not down – basically anything my son does he’s on his back for it. He needs to know what I’m washing every time I use the machine and lectures me about how much powder to use etc.
Years of this has worn me down as I feel I am constantly defending my son.
In fact all of your post rang true with me / the groping in public, the cyber relationships etc. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone and like myself the uncertainty is probably due to the fear of making that final decision. In my heart I know it is the right thing to get me and my son out of this situation.
Take care xx

[Tired123]

Hi I am new to the forum. As I write this I am at my parents house I haven’t been home since (removed by moderator)  I haven’t told my family why I’ve not been home I have made excuses as usual.
I feel like a different person than (removed by moderator) years ago when my relationship started. As silly as it sounds I have done quizzes before to see if I am in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think the fact I was researching it proves I was. My partner is a master at making me feel like everything is my fault, I doubt myself and feel confused. He constantly criticises me with subtle digs. He makes a big deal out of everything my son does wrong (normal things that kids do) and says he fees it’s unfair my son is at home (removed by moderator) while his is only there every other weekend. I have said you knew my situation when you met me I can’t change it. It goes to the extent that I rush around making sure my son has not left shoes out and that he has put the toilet seat down etc before he gets in from work. All so he doesn’t blow up. It may not seem like a big deal but years of this has worn me down.
I know straight away if he ha he a bad day at work- he starts picking at thins I do when he gets in. I constantly have to keep him fully informed of my movements and he always needs to know what time I am going to be home and how long I’ll be. (Removed by moderator) He said he had nothing to say to me and f**k off. In that moment something clicked and I packed me and my son some things and went to stay (removed by moderator). He has said I won’t find anyone who does what he does for me but I fee like the amount he does is his way of controlling me. I keep telling myself his reaction wasn’t normal but then I worry I am overreacting.
I also found flirtatious text msgs on his phone (removed by moderator) when she text him when he left his phone out. I have never looked at someone’s msgs before but after seeing what she sent human nature took over. He says I don’t give him enough sex and I try to explain I don’t feel close to him because of he way he talks to me. I know he was verbally abused and controlled by his father and I worry this cycle is carrying on for my son.
I feel like I need to get him out of this situation but could do with some reassurance that this situation isn’t normal and I am doing the right thing? Thanks xx

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