tlc4us

[tlc4us]

my pleasure treasure! hmmm dont like the sound of your ex… yes cos empathetic ppl who are drawn to ‘namby pamby’ work are so much worse for the world than abusive bullies…grrrr…. mine had similar attitude to me working. he has never had a job in his life so it was very important to him that i didnt succeed. completely agree with you re brainwashing ripples – so so sad. i was doing good (detail removed by Moderator) when i met him but due to pressure from him i gave it up. it’s now (detail removed by Moderator) years later and i’m still unemployed with not good confidence in my work skills. SilkyHalide was saying about problems explaining things to employers and i totally get that. there are quite a lot of schemes to get ex-offenders into work (bakeries, forestry work, shoe repairs etc) – where are the schemes to help us??? on a positive note i have just signed up for my first survivors support group so while i am a bit anxious about opening up old wounds i am looking forward to meeting nice ppl like the women on this forum 🙂 have a nice evening everyone xxxx

[tlc4us]

hi there 🙂 first off, i completely agree with the others who say you are doing BRILLIANTLY holding on to your job… now for my two-cents…. well i might have this wonky (pls forgive if so!) but it sounds like your work was and still is important to you/your sense of self (same is true for me). and it sounds like your job was something your ex latched on to as well, so your work and what it meant to you and him was centre stage in your relationship. it’s not surprising to me that in that context it gains extra meaning in your mind, becoming like a – i dunno symbol or something! and now that the relationship is over i think it’s so understandable that u are asking yourself ‘do i deserve this prize?’, ‘if it’s so important to me, why am i not buzzing/feeling all revved up?’, ‘if i dont feel 110% about my job then has he won?’ etc. so maybe something to consider is: how can i make my job mean something to me on my own terms? without his horrible vicious voice having anything to do with it! another thing i wanted to ask you was do u consider what u do on this forum as work? i know it’s not paid but its clear from people’s comments above that u have been incredibly supportive of others and have given real FOCUSED time to them and they have valued it. okay final thing before i shuddup 🙂 just wondered if it was poss to get back in touch with what u originally loved about your current job – is it that you got to do something you loved, that it used your talents, that ppl gave u praise, u felt u were making a difference etc. i do hope u can reconnect with your work mojo soon cos u deserve to 🙂 xx

[tlc4us]

I agree with FS – healing takes time. Sometimes I find it hard not to beat up on myself – like why aren’t I moving quicker on the job front, why can’t I get my old work attitude back.

Also Nemo what you said was quite an eye-opener for me – about work being a lifeline for lots of women. I am happy to hear that other people are managing to stay in jobs (though sorry to hear weekends are really hard).

serenity do you mean a general panic? or is it something in particular that makes u panic? i know it sounds daft but with me i think the idea that i might be good at something makes me panic and so i have problems with stepping up and taking responsibility.

[tlc4us]

P.S Ayanna I am sorry what your went thru with your manager. i hope u are in a better situation now. Serenity: yes great advice i am hunting new pastures now. thanks both hope u having good evening 🙂

[tlc4us]

thank you so much 🙂 never been on a forum before. u taking the trouble to write and be so thoughtful and kind has actually left me a bit speechless. feeling a lot of gratitude right now x

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