TooAshamed

[TooAshamed]

Hi all,
thank you for your replies, they make me feel a bit less alone.

I agree with all of you, I am putting him before myself, I am putting his happiness ahead of mine and he knows it so he takes advantage.
I have looked into an occupation order but, apart not being able to afford a solicitor, I can’t bring myself to do it. I know he will not move out, he will just stay in bed and cry and i will have to get the police to remove him.

As for getting him hospitalised…i have tried(detail removed by moderator) ago with both police and ambulance. He refused ambulance. I was hoping police would section him but they didn’t, even though he was self harming and was visibly drunk and agitated.

He has tried to cut down the drinking, a (detail removed by moderator) ago it was totally out of control, (detail removed by moderator)…now he manages (detail removed by moderator) without alcohol and (detail removed by moderator) day. (detail removed by moderator), where he did really well, and for a long period(detail removed by moderator) he was sober. The recent death of a family member has sent him off the rails, the(detail removed by moderator) have been hell. He is not violent, but I am stuck at home listening to someone who rambles incoherently.

To give you an idea of a typical day: (detail removed by moderator) we went for a long walk, we had breakfast (detail removed by moderator), we went(detail removed by moderator), we had a very good morning together and I really enjoyed. (detail removed by moderator) he started saying he feels anxious and he wanted beer, and ended up having a total of (detail removed by moderator). He talked in coherently till (detail removed by moderator). I had to shut up and listen, because if I dare telling him that he sounds insane, he then starts screaming…then he accuses me of screaming!

I know very well I should just kick him out, and I am looking into counselling because I have a huge emotional block. Now that he wants to go to (detail removed by moderator), I daydream a future in which studying could make him change (during (detail removed by moderator) he has done very well and been great) and I feel so stupid.

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