Thank you all so so much for responding; I’ve been feeling like I’m losing my mind and like I can’t trust anything my brain tells me. Well, aside from one thing: that I’ve got to protect my children. I didn’t tell the marriage counselor about his aggression because I’m not ready for her to report him to report suspected child abuse to the authorities. I don’t even have evidence to show. I’m really struggling. I’m only just now accepting he could be abusing us, and my brain keeps panicking and trying to cling to denial. I haven’t mentioned words like abuse or divorce to him–he’d be utterly shocked. I’ve just been carrying on as normal and it’s tearing me up inside, secretly trying to get information and resources to leave him and prepare to face him in court and call him an abuser. I know I’d go to the ends of the earth for my children, but I’m trying to do it heartbroken and scared and pretending everthing is normal, and this feels impossible.
Two of my friends know. They’re not in any sort of position to help. I will need my parents’ help but I haven’t been able to make the phone call to say it.
