troddenon

[troddenon]

Hi IWMB thanks for this.

You are totally articulate in everything you say. As individuals we have a choice as how we express our selves- our needs, wants, desires and boundaries. This should be reciprocated and understood in a healthy relationship. I am not a toy or a performing monkey. I am a human being who deserves respect, deserves to be listened to and deserves equal communication without malice, vindictiveness or control.

A support network for me is already beginning to ameliorate the helplessness. I know it is a long journey but I have started it. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. This forum is going to be a huge learning curve.
xxx

[troddenon]

Hi Doris

Thank you for all your support and recommendations. Yes it is insidious and it sucks the joy out of life. It is the slow drip drip cyclical torture. I am dumbfounded by his inability to recognise that what he does or says is abuse. He would not treat his mother sister or daughter like this and would be appalled if it happened to them. I have only told two friends and my sisters who have reassured me their husbands have never behaved like this or deigned to call them horrific names.

They all say leave.That is what I would say if I were to be detached and watch myself. This is difficut for various reasons- long term marriage, financial dependency, living a fairly socially isolated life etc. I wonder where the man I married disappeared. I do know leaving would be the sensible option but I get consumed by paralysis as it would involve me moving to a new county with no friends or work as i am of retirement age etc.
I will watch the you tube videos and look at Pat Craven. I already am feeling some relief so thank you. Yes it would be great to pop in for a coffee etc!

[Author]

Posts