My daughter has ashbergers syndrome. We too have seen probably the same guy how you describe him at cambs.
It effects my daughter by being very socially anxious and very obsessed with routines. It has made her very academic, this causes problems as she strives to be a straight A student. I would say a chat with him before hand or even whilst you are there ask to talk to him first to explain some of the things that you feel impacted this. I’m sure they would be welcome to your input and understand that you don’t really want your daughter to maybe hear. Your input and information into your daughters well being is very valuable and they will want and be interested to know. It’s hard when our children have their own stressed especially when we have our own too! Sounds like you talk to each other well and you haven’t pushed her to talk, I would say a perfect response from yourself. I know my daughter won’t talk till she is ready and when she does I have hours of worries , stresses and also laughter with her.
It’s also not about labelling but understanding the effect of Asperger syndrome. All teenagers are different and the teenager years are when it becomes more apparent due to hormones. On the plus side my daughters school have been wonderful with her she attends counciling through school once a week and because of her anxiety about sitting in various places in the class room they have been very accommodating.
I think it’s natural to stress but it is a condition that can be managed very well, I wish you luck 👍🏽
