Unsettled

[Unsettled]

Thank you both so so much!
Lately I’ve been journaling and trying my best not to stay in bed depressed with my own thoughts although I do have moments of the day I find myself sinking back to those
Thoughts. I’ve ended the relationship and but still keep in contact as he has previously mentioned and made it a point to show me he will self harm. This has become an issue I feel like I can’t get out of. I want him well and healthy regardless of how he’s made me feel. I never know what type of reception I’ll receive from him and since I’ve left him it’s all about how he wants me back and he wants to marry me and basically painting a perfect image of the life I would of planned for us, it makes me feel weak and like the relationship ending is all my fault and I feel useless and unsure of myself constantly. Does anybody have advice as to how I can control this?

Thank you both for your kind words I really needed to hear it, it’s been so long since I’ve felt heard and to know that somebody else has gone through a similar journey xx

[Unsettled]

Thank you for sharing. I completely understand how you’ve felt. It’s such a scary thing to think about when thinking of leaving. It is most definitely emotional blackmail and hell even threaten to hurt himself and say “but that’s not me trying to blackmail you”

It’s now becoming easier to ignore what he’s saying and it not feel like every word he says is burning through my mind and causing chest pains ect. He’s twice my age and I can’t have this all on my chest anymore.
Thank you so much for your advice it’s so comforting knowing somebody else has had a similar experience x

[Unsettled]

Hi hawthorn, you are completely right. His voice is still inside my head. A friend once said to me that anything he does after I leave him is completely his choice. I do agree and believe that but it just still feels wrong to leave somebody struggling. However for myself I need to be a little selfish and walk away.

Still feel brainwashed. To be told and to come back to reality that it is actually abuse is so out of sorts to me. It’s like I’m having a hard time believing that’s what our whole relationship was. It’s heartbreaking but super unhealthy now I’ve been away from him a few weeks I can see a little change in myself

[Unsettled]

Hi sleepy pigeon,

I think your right I need to just block him and move on, it’s extremely hard and he begs for contact with me but like you said for my own sanity and safety it’s for the best. Could you help me on how to reach out to women’s aid for support for myself. I have nobody I can really talk to or know anywhere that deals with these situations. I’d love to be able to talk one on one with somebody who can show me the process of getting out and moving on completely.

Thanks for taking the time out to reply x

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