Welo@123

[Welo@123]

I Flee From my Ex partner due to Domestic Abuse ( verbal, controlling, psychological, mentally, emotionally, concrete abuse).The abuses started when I came here from my country and it continued even (detail removed by Moderator). We started having arguments that night and he would raise his voice at me to the extend the baby will start crying, even while holding her sometimes he yells at me and makes her cry. One day I told him the baby always cries when she’s with you why is that and he got upset and started talking down on me again like he use to. I came to the women refuge in (detail removed by Moderator) with my (detail removed by Moderator) daughter. When I got to (detail removed by Moderator) I was told they don’t let the Penetrators come in the building and if I want I don’t have to let him know where I stay.

(detail removed by Moderator) has been my friend for years even before I met him, so each time I don’t agree or feel comfortable with something he wants he tells (detail removed by Moderator) and she talks to me, so because I don’t want to lose that friendship with her as I don’t have no family here, I tent to do it. I don’t feel safe around him because there’s this fear in me he might say something to hurt me as he normally does or say something to scare me. I sent him a message telling him to come see the baby whenever he wants to but he has only been here (detail removed by Moderator) times since (detail removed by Moderator) till date. I allow him call my phone saying he wants to speak to the baby ( baby hasn’t started speaking, nor does she understands anything he is saying) but I let him call and I follow her around with the phone.

(detail removed by Moderator) he came to see her was on (detail removed by Moderator). After he was done spending time with her while I was there he decided to drop us off. He told me when he is back in (detail removed by Moderator), he wants to be fully involved in his child’s life and he would like to come pick her up in the morning, take her away and bring her back in the evening. He said from a day, then two, then three. And I told him I am sorry I think that is a long hours. she doesn’t know you, you don’t know anything about her. I’d suggest you continue coming to see her on your day visit spend (detail removed by Moderator) hours with her while I’m there, when she gets familiar with you, and you know her routines, what she eats and gradually she’s beginning to communicate and all then I will be willing and comfortable for you to have her for longer hours. Then he told me I don’t get to decide how many hours he spends with his child. I told him yes is your right legally but for now I can decide because I am the primary carer, even while I don’t feel safe around you I still let you see her. But if you think I’m being unfair and unreasonable then go to court like you said you would and get a court order.

(detail removed by Moderator). (detail removed by Moderator) the one I call my friend called me to suggest mediation, and I told her mediation wouldn’t go well I know about it. Then she said if I won’t do mediation I leave them no option than to go to court, which means I am taking her whole family to court to fight for the baby who (detail removed by Moderator) and still breastfeeding. And that it will ruin my friendship with her and in the future if I need help they won’t be able to help. Ever since (detail removed by Moderator) said these things to me, there has been fear in me, I have been stress, I have been thinking what if my baby is taking away from me. The dad works with (detail removed by Moderator) and stay in (detail removed by Moderator).

My questions are: Am I selfish?? Am I wrong in putting the child first?

[Welo@123]

Please I am also lost and stress… I am have crying my eyes out simply because I want the best for my (detail removed by moderator) daughter and I. Am I selfish? I am confused please I need help and advice

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