whoaminow

[whoaminow]

Thanks, yes, it is my fear, and that something would happen.
I’ve been told courts would award d the contact though.
Is there anyone out there who has any experience of court and how contact would work for a young child over long distances?
Thank you confused, I really appreciate the reply.

[whoaminow]

Hi confused, thank you so much for the reply. Financial situation is not great but I can get enough to get through court. Our child has a good relationship with my ex now, has been seeing him for a few years. I was always civil with ex, he would sometimes be fine and then just lose it and get angry because he wanted more contact. Had some mediation sessions and he started off fine, but became aggressive by the second one, threatening court if he didn’t get what he wanted.
I left because he became physically abusive – after years of verbal, threatening behaviour and controlling. He smashed up a laptop, kicked a ladder into a door breaking it, used to stand over me shouting insults in my face. Was aggressive to other people, once smashed up a phone talking to his mum. After our child was born, he pinned me up against the wall when the baby was on the changing table and they could have fallen off, then he smashed up the baby things. I asked him to get help and he did an anger management course. After, he did the same again, but holding our child and shouting in my ear and after he let me go, he punched the wall and broke his hand. That’s when I left and a while later I realised it was abuse and told him and he was sorry and self-referred onto a perpetrator programme. However, he got angry towards the end of the course and threw a cup on the floor and I was warned to stay away. He got very angry when I told him I wanted a divorce and I had to take him to court to get my share.
So, there may be some evidence in court, I have since reported him to the police and there should be medical records and his perp programme if the judge would request it.
But the thing I can’t work out and no one can tell me is what contact the court will award as I’ve been told he will get overnights but what sort of pattern would it be given the age and distance? I can delay the overnights by going to court, but I’m worried my ex will want everything he can possibly get then, whereas he may settle for less now. So if anyone has a similar situation I would really appreciate hearing about it. I also hear that court is a lottery and it depends on the judge and the Cafcass officers you get. I am so scared for my child, but also for my own mental health if I don’t get something official in writing (from court) that means he can’t bully me or threaten me with it anymore.
Thanks again for reading x

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