WhoHaveIbecome

[WhoHaveIbecome]

We are on our (detail removed by moderator) full day of being just me and the kids. How did u all survive the early days? I’m only just up and made kids something to eat. Today is not feeling great.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

He has definitely left. He’s at his mums, i know he wont contact me. It’s me who needs the courage not to contact him.

I’m confident he wont take me to court etc, who knows if he will even be in contact about the kids. He will probably see them when his mum does.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

He never goes out without us, and the only time we get away is for work and school. I have stashed a small pile of my clothes to last a couple of days, and my mum has kids clothes at hers. So if I really do need to just up and leave then I can grab them in the morning and leave as he’s always later in getting up, i’ve thought about what i’d pack for the kids. I ask the kids regularily if they are ok and happy and they always say they are. If they weren’t i think that would give me more of a push to leave.

I know i’ll find my breaking point, I know we wont be together into old age. I just need to find strength.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

Thanks for the replies. I didn’t mean he was hiding behind the drink, i just hate when he says he’s going to have a drink as I know it will be a long night, where i need to laugh, be cheerful to stop any arguements. When really I just want to punch him in the face.

I’ve realised lately that I have become snappy with the kids when they say or do something that jknow will annoy them. Thats not fair on the kids and I feel like such a bad mum, it’s not their fault. I think, no i know we would all be better of I wasnt with their dad but it’s just the doing it.

I keep saying next arguement and i’m done, then the arguement happens and I beg him not to leave etc, why? Why cant I just let him leave???

I think my mum probably knows something, as she is always reminding me that she is there for me, and that she doesnt know how i deal with his me tal health problems.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

What does everyone do to prepare to leave?

I hate when my husband drinks, it’s all fine to start with and sometimes he gets agressive I dont even think he realises as think he is so drunk that things go on in his head that arent real. I constantly think right in the morning i’ll pack up and just head to my parents. Then in the morning he’s ok again and i’m still here.

Why is it so difficult to just leave and not look back? I know if i left he’d leave the house, he wouldnt hang about and probably wouldnt contact me again anyway. Yet I cant do it? What is wrong with me?

I’ve started saving money (there is no financial abuse, i have all my own). I am then going to get the house gutted, washing all up to date etc, so that if i need to leave i’m not having to come home and face things. Not sure if this is the right or wrong thing to do.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

I have my kids and they are too young to be left. One doesn’t want to come up with me lol

[WhoHaveIbecome]

Thats how i feel today, i am so tired and deflated and just want to climb back into my bed, even if just to watch tv.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

I haven’t had any contact at all. I think that’s making it worse somehow. I just want past thisstage.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

IWMB thanks for the reply. I am close to my mum snd really want to tell her what is going on. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has an idea. I know if i tell her she will become determined to get me to leave and i’ll feel the pressure. So i haven’t spoken to anyone. Sometimes I wish he’d just leave me and take the decision out of my hands.

[WhoHaveIbecome]

I used the womens aid online chat. However the wo.ens aid building is a multi use building and one of his family use it. So feel it’s too risky, i also get no opportunity to phone etc. If i were to ask him to leave I believe he would. I just dont feel strong enough to say it.

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