Aaaaga

[Aaaaga]

Yes I know. Its 28 days. Police officer who is dealing with case, rang me few days ago and told me about CPS decision to extended. Its third time it happend since last time he got arrested. Not sure if it’s a good or bad sign

[Aaaaga]

The only protective order atm is police bail with conditions to not contact me or approached me.
Police finished their investigation gave all evidence to CPS.
CPS keep extending his bail, because there are few charges and it’s not straight forward case.
I’m hoping they will take him to court and more likely we will get a restraining order.

[Aaaaga]

I and my daughter lived in refuge. We lived in community house(not shared with anyone). The rent was really high but all cover by housing benefits
When I got there I had to sign contract. There was weekly rent (average price for a rent in area) and service charges (almost as high as rent) both covered by housing benefits, because I had to leave my job before moving there.
I only had to pay £22 per week for gas and electric and reduced council tax. They helped me with applying for Universal Credit so had some money to live off

[Aaaaga]

I’ve never used legal aid. Ex do not have contact, but he claims he wants to. Social services was involved and due to his abusive and violent behaviour, I’ve been told I can keep child away from him and I can decide if he is allowed to see a child. I offered him contact centre but he wasnt interested and after harrasing me with calls few months back I changed my number and havent heard from him since.
Since then he assaulted few people (which I know) trying to find out where we are.
First solicitor said I might not be entitled to legal aid cos there is no real danger as long as he doesnt know where we live. (It was before he was on bail condition)
Second solicitor said that we are protected by police bail so I cant apply for legal aid.

Thank you all for your replies.
I will talk to local council and school headteacher x

[Aaaaga]

I’ve never thought MP could help me with domestic abuse matter. I’m looking currently for legal advice and I will check with solicitor what option is best for us. Unfortunately the closest passport office is few hours away.

Thank you very much for all advices and support. It helps to still have a hope that one day everything will fall into place xx

[Aaaaga]

All threats are reported to police. I kept incidents and crime numbers. I wish I could change her name. Everytime I ring doctors or anywhere I need to give her details I feel mad that she’s got his name.
Thank you x

[Aaaaga]

Thank you for your replies. Unfortunately there is no way I can put her on my passport. I already rand embassy. I’ll definately ring rights for women.

I have social care raport that he stated I am good mum and social care worker is happy with me keeping us safe. She is (detail removed by moderator) so still too young for taking her opinion under consideration.
She is very excited to see me every day since (detail removed by moderator) so I know they see bond between us. I’m not worrying judge would decide that she should live with him (no job, no money, long criminal record. Recently he kicked off with social care worker, telling him he’s gonna find me and kill me and take our daughter away) I’m scared judge would decide about over night visits and I don’t think I would cope with that. And he is quiet now and I just want him to stay this way and going to court in his head will mean war x

[Aaaaga]

And also can I choose court? I want to do it in town where my ex lives cos I don’t want to give him any ideas where I live x

[Aaaaga]

I’ll try not to break. I know feeling safe (get non mol) is more important than money and materialistic things.
Do you know if non molestation order is a temporary thing like for couple of years or how is it working? And what about hearing? Will I have to face him in court?

[Aaaaga]

Thank you for your advices.
I was trying to apply for legal advice (detail removed by Moderator) months ago but I wasn’t qualified (I left my job then but they were looking at last 3 months)
My support worker advised me to wait 3 months and apply again and this is what I’m gonna do. I’m on universal credit now so I think it won’t be a problem. He’s got family but they fell out couple years ago and I’m not sure if they got back in touch since our break up. He is not on bail conditions any longer that’s why I felt like I’ve got to leave to refuge cos there was nothing stopping him there to try and find me. He still got parental rights and I was too scared he would go and just pick our child up from nursery and I won’t get her back unless I go and face him at home.
Last time we spoke was (detail removed by Moderator) ago and we were trying to sort some arrangements for him to see our daughter. He didn’t want to agree for contact centre and decided to cancelled our daughter passport because he knew that we supposed to go visit (detail removed by Moderator). I changed my number and he wasn’t try to contact me since then or any of my friends or family member how he used to do. I feel like he finally got a message that we are not together and we won’t be. I feel a bit tempted to get in touch with him and maybe try to sort it in civil way but then again I’m scared he will be messing with my head again and try to get control back over me x

[Aaaaga]

Last time I’ve heard anything about him he was signing off sick with (detail removed by Moderator) and knowing him he will be playing on it as long as possible. I wanted to apply for occupation order but I don’t think I could sleep at night if he knew where I am.
I’ve seen loads of nice things in charity shops and I’m definately gonna do my shopping there. I just find it so hard to let him having everything when he’s not even owning those things

[Aaaaga]

I hhope it will be same in my case. Me and our child supposed to go abroad for Christmas and I just found down he cancelled her passport because he was the one who sign declaration. I could apply for passport again but I won’t get it on time. I feel like a fool for feeling quilty or sorry for him…

[Aaaaga]

Thank you for your replies. I’m
trying to go no contact again. I told my friends and family to block him or at least not telling me that he is messaging them. Now he said the contact centre said they will have spaces after New Year… why is he doing it to me. I just don’t understand why won’t he let me go and uses our daughter because he knows it will work and deep down I know it but Still can’t help but feel quilty. I left our home, my job and everything behind to go to refuge and be safe. I feel like I’m being punished for everything now cos he can live normal life after everything he done to me and still doing and I can’t and I’m angry and mad at him for that but in the same I feel bad cos all I ever wanted was us to split up and be coparents for our child. He was saying I need to let my anger go and forget the past and think what is best for her and that she needs both parents. And I think same that’s why it’s so hard for me cos I want it but I know I can’t trust him x

[Aaaaga]

Thank you. Tbh I don’t feel strong at all and most days barely hanging here. Sometimes thinking about going back cos future seems to be overwhelming, but can’t do that to myself or my lo. Got no other choice than moving slowly forward xx

[Aaaaga]

Hi, I know if it was her first passport I could do it. When we applied for her passport he was the one who sign declaration. I didn’t know that at time but it gave him power over her passport. He was the one who could cancel it, report it lost or damaged… I thought both parents can do it but it turns out to be privilege for a parent who sign declaration that’s why I need his permission. If I was the one who sign declaration for her first passport and be wanted to apply for one for her he would need My permission xx

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