Anon321123

[Anon321123]

Thank you so much. I will contact the RoW (detail removed by moderator) and get some advice. What you say makes complete sense and now that I’m out I can see the signs. I’ve put in an application to the CSA (detail removed by moderator) which he’s gonna massively kick off about. But I’m ready for the fight now.
It hard because the kids want to see him but they are generally calmer without him here. I’m just gonna ignore him and see if he actually fights for them. (I can’t see it though, he has an elder daughter that he ignored for (detail removed by moderator) years).

[Anon321123]

There’s definitely good days and bad days. He claims he wants to see the kids but actually just wants to get me back. I’ve come close to breaking a few times but it’s definitely a case of mind Vs heart. I know I need to stay strong but him not ‘being able to have the kids’ is definitely not working to his advantage. And now I’m back to work after Xmas I barely have time to think anyway.

Keep strong Hopefulgreyrock!

[Anon321123]

Hi Hereforhelp. I think if he were here now I’d be worrying about money and he’d be drunk and moaning about my family. I’d also be walking on eggshells and doing anything to keep the peace. I’m with you on that one, I’d just do anything to avoid an argument which I’d inevitably lose anyway. Its just a massive change.

Hi wantstohelp. I think everything blew up when I had an educational session on domestic abuse at work so things have moved a bit quickly. There were no charges against him due to lack of evidence but it’s just one of those things I guess. The non mol is a civil order after he was NFAed.

I did build the toys by myself and that’s a massive thing! My mum always taught me not to rely on a man and I need to get myself back to that way of thinking. I also think that if I’d have stayed with him my kids wouldn’t have been able to have friends round and I really want one of those houses where anyone feels welcome.

You made me cry with your response and I absolutely can do it but it’s going to be massively hard juggling shift work and kids. I’m so grateful for my family being so supportive and feel better just having people reply on here. I just feel like nobody in the real world understands because they just expect me to get over it because it was abusive. It’s just not that simple.

[Anon321123]

Thank you. He’s not been back to the house since he was arrested. I have no idea where he is and provided he stays away from me I don’t really care.
He’s had the papers served already as they managed to get hold of him on the phone and arrange to meet him. Were due in court (removed by moderator). In the meantime I will keep a key in the only door he can get in by so I know he won’t be waiting for me when I get back from work. He’s allowed to contact me about the kids but that’s it so far and I’m hoping it stays that way and he realises I’m serious this time.

[Anon321123]

Thank you. I don’t have anywhere I can go but I am considering taking out a non molestation order against him. I’m just waiting to hear back from a legal perspective on it. I did have a call from victim support today but didn’t manage to speak to them because I was at work.
Work are also aware of the situation. (They have ways of finding these things out) so I feel quite well supported otherwise. It does help to write things on here though too.

[Anon321123]

Thanks both. Yes I’m new here, Have been doing a bit of reading and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s been gaslighting me for a few years now if not longer. I don’t feel like me anymore and I hate that. I’m going to try to finish it with him and hope for the best. It’s going to be massively hard but I think long term it’s going to be better that way.

[Anon321123]

Feel absolutely lost today. He’s accused me of not helping with the kids (detail removed by moderator) even though I sorted lunches, clothes and breakfast out before I went to work. He told me he wasn’t doing the school run (detail removed by moderator). I went anyway and when I got home late due to traffic I’ve been accused of cheating, not trying and apparently I make him feel bad for not having a job. Am I just supposed to wait for him to hit me before I can get out of this?

[Anon321123]

Cry in a good way. I’m just overemotional lately. You did just make me smile though. 😊

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