Anonymousandafraid

[Anonymousandafraid]

Thank you for replying – it was like a fever broke last night and he stabilized somewhat- which is I recognize is a pattern. We texted during my workday which feels safer because it is in writing but I know this period of “stability” is temporary until the next crisis. Now he’s “giving me a chance” to “fix it” for me to work with him to make amends. Of course when that fails or does not reach his standards he will be off again. He punched *himself* in the face in a recent spiral thankfully without the kid seeing, it was late at night.

When I point out really terrible behaviour -screaming at me screaming at kid threatening suicide – he has counter examples some real some grossly exaggerated or lies of omission where I “did worse” 3 or more years ago

My kid is traumatized by all this fighting & I fear traumatizing him more by leaving It is a waking nightmare

[Anonymousandafraid]

Thank you all for responding

I had had 10 days or so where he was upbeat & had tentatively noted it asked what had changed & he brushed me off.
Yesterday I foolishly looked for emotional support as I had been on his schedule & mood for weeks. I expressed concern for him & that lead to (detail removed by moderator) hours of unrelenting misery. He just interrogated me for hours on “why I had done this to him” making me repeat what I said over & over.
Re-litigating the fact I “don’t want to see myself as capable of the terrible things I’ve done” Frantically pacing up & down- crying out- asking for hugs & comfort then saying I was doing it wrong- repeatedly asking “what I’m thinking” – for hours.
Saying “I want him gone” That I’m lying to neighbours about being physically abused – just paranoid accusations over & over.
I am so exhausted all the time.

[Author]

Posts