bertietrue

[bertietrue]

Just wanted to share my experience of refuge. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I also truly believe it has saved our lives. being in a small room with three children, and I was also pregnant was difficult but we all really needed that too. It made everyone feel safer, and also opened up the lines of communication again. It definitely bought us closer together.
The support we had in refuge was amazing, the staff work so hard!! Anything from emotional to financial support.
I would say that you need to be a bit weary of becoming too friendly with other women straight away, living in such close quarters can bring difficulties in itself, but in saying that I have also made some very good friends that I am still close to now a year down the line.
My best advice would be to embrace what is being offered to help your situation. It is a safe place and also somewhere you can be really honest with yourself. I found one of the main benefits was having everything stripped away- we had minimal belongings. You then have the time and possibility to go back to basics- cooking for your children, washing and ironing using the facilities, without all the other pressures running a household brings (and the situation that you have left behind).

It really taught us how to become a family again, how to start to address the issues we were experiencing, and when we did finally move on we appreciated having our own space again so much.

Without going into refuge there is no way we would be where we are today, I thank my lucky stars these places exist and are ran by the amazing people that work there.
If you are thinking of trying to get away, please go to refuge- It will be hard but it could save your life x

[bertietrue]

thank you for replies. I would do anything to live a normal life again. so sick of not existing. feeling scared even to go shopping. one day ill turn around and he will be there ready to finish it. I honestly feel moving half way around the world is my only option to live free again.

[bertietrue]

hi, i have just joined. mainly because i feel like i am fighting a million battles by myself. after managing to get away from a very long violent relationship, going into refuge, moving twice due to the risk and now finally settled. ive done everything i possibly could for my children, completed all of the courses, seen psychiatrists and therapists. accessed everything i could basically. gave birth to our 4th child in the summer- im still really struggling with coming to terms with it all. i feel i have gone a million miles an hour, never sleeping, never having time to stop. although i know i am getting better, i still have a strong sense of hopelessness. it feels like a constant battle with my own feelings for him and what i need to do to stay safe. really with i knew when im likely to start feeling more positive…..

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