To mixed up Mum
I think you are very wise to take your time. It is perfectly possible to have a male companion and , if you let him know from the outset that you need to take things very slowly, a man worth his salt will respect and support that decision. One of the lessons I had to learn was to stop worrying about what he might want and ask myself “what do I WANT”? once you get back into the habit of putting yourself first you are on the right path. Be true to YOURSELF first and foremost. The rest will follow. Finally, allow yourself the time and space to rediscover yourself. Its so easy to forget who we are underneath the mountain of committments life throws at us. You will know when youve got the right man by the way…you will feel calm inside. Being constantly subjected to abuse leaves us fraught and tense, but in the right relationship there is no tension. Just calm respect and communication. It took me a while to trust the feeling. I kept asking ‘ is this where it all goes wrong again’?….but – two years on Im happier than Ive ever been. More importantly I know that I created that happiness by learning to love myself. Good things will follow – I promise xxx
