Confused@123

[Confused@123]

Hi, I was wondering how you are doing?

I am in EXACTLY the same boat as you with the constant hounding, questions, guilt trips, begging, pleading, anger, accusations, wanting specific examples to justify why I want to leave but sadly I’m doing this in lockdown, both working from home, have a small child and living under the same roof.

Desperately trying to get out but as you can imagine there is very little on the market right now to rent and I have no family near me.

I feel like I am fighting an impossible fight and it’s pushing me to my very limit. Most days I think I’m going to have some kind of mental breakdown, it’s just totally relentless!

I’m sick of this life and I just want to be able to breathe x

[Confused@123]

Hi Weak Link,

Thank you so much for your post! It’s so comforting in a way to hear that I’m not crazy and that other women understand what this is and how it makes you feel!
I spoke to another solicitor last week who’s told me because of child arrangements it could cost anywhere from 7000 to 15000 to see this through to divorce and financial settlement as he is going to be really difficult.
The only option I have is to rent while it’s going through but will have to pay rent and cover the solicitor bills at the same time and I just can’t see how I’ll do that.
Feeling so low and stuck at the moment. I need to get my fight back!!
My H knows I’m looking to leave at the moment so is being his extra nice self and I just find it creepy now but .. I still end up ‘forgetting’ and being confused about all the stuff he does when he’s not doing this nice act. I just sound crazy and I know it!!

I’m sorry you are going through the same thing and you struggle to get some safe time.

I have started getting out for exercise which allows me some breathing time if only for a short time!

I want to be free so bad but I’m really struggling to work out how and when!

Respond back if you get a safe moment x

No one can help us except ourselves!

[Confused@123]

Oh thank you so much for replying! I felt bad after posting that other people’s situations are worse than mine for felt ashamed for saying anything. Your message means so much, it makes me feel validated.
I did see a solicitor last year and she gave me wonderful advice! I called yesterday to instruct her to start the process until I found out she charges 250 pounds an hour! I cannot afford that as I know my H will be difficult especially around arrangements for our son!!
How has your H been since he’s had the divorce papers? I’m worried about how things will escalate.
I feel like I’m a shadow of who I used to be! I’m nervous about everything and find it hard to make any decisions! This is me who moved country by myself before I met him and lived on my own for (detail removed by moderator) years!
You sound so strong, good for you!!

All I want is happiness xx

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