DropsOfHope

[DropsOfHope]

I last got through to them about two weeks ago, when I could leave them a message with my number and a good time for me to talk.
Have you tried googling and contacting any local services? There are some specific to my town and they have been incredibly helpful!
Keep on breathing. You will get through to somebody eventually!

[DropsOfHope]

Hi Buddy,

I can really relate. It’s really tough to get out of that fog and to move forward, especially when well-meaning people give confusing advice.
Don’t feel guilty because of your mum, this is about making decisions that are good for you right now.

I agree with Chestnut! There are lots of lovely people out there who will make you breakfast AND treat you with respect, who do nice things for you AND make you feel at ease at all times.
He’s not the only person who can give you the good things!
We don’t have to suffer through abuse to deserve what is often just the bare minimum in healthy relationships.

Also something you wrote made me think that his ‘nice actions’ could be quite manipulative. You write that you probably wouldn’t get up to make breakfast for him. My ex used to say things like ‘You wouldn’t do the same for me!’ in order to guilt trip me and make me feel like I wasn’t putting in any effort. It made me overthink everything I was supposedly doing wrong instead of focusing on the many, many abusive things he was doing on a regular basis!

[DropsOfHope]

P.S. This is the link I forgot to insert:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1kDd6yBQZ4

[DropsOfHope]

I never reacted to your brilliant responses!
It’s been hard to figure out what is helpful now that I am out of the relationship and I haven’t logged in for a while!

I really appreciated your messages though 🙂

Soulsearcher18, I love that you are a tree hugger! I’ve been really drawn to water myself (the canals and rivers nearby) and I wish I could have a weekend by the sea soon.
Like Braelynn said, nature takes us out of our literal and metaphorical boxes, helping our eyes and minds rest.
iliketea — I had quite a visceral reaction to Mystery and Melancholy of a Street when I Googled it. The sense of isolation and ‘time standing still’ of the composition.

I randomly came across this a few days ago (had never listened to it before) and it spontaneously made me cry — the possibility of bloom! Maybe this resonates too? The lyrics definitely appeal to nature lovers.

[DropsOfHope]

(Not sure how this notification system works, think I didn’t directly reply to you yesterday? This is just to say that I appreciated your comment and hope that you have a nice day :))

[DropsOfHope]

Thank you!! Are there any that you could recommend (if you have read them yourself?)

[DropsOfHope]

Thanks, Eggshells! I actually started meditating a few weeks before I left but have been finding it really hard to get back into it on my own because I still associate it with the relationship.
I know that’s a bit silly and hoping it’ll get better over time!

[DropsOfHope]

Hi BarbaraFrances,

that book was an eye-opener for me, too!

I recently came across this Youtube channel called ‘DrRamani’ which deals with all things related to n********m. A lot of her videos shed light on the abusive behaviour n********ts engage in and are aimed at helping victims leave and recover, so they are informative for everyone who is interested in abuse more generally. She has a recent video in which she discusses how survivors of n**********c abuse often experience ‘grief and relief’ at the same time. I’ve definitely had that experience and after watching her video I felt a little less crazy and alone!

I’m so sorry to hear that he still has all of these allies. I don’t know if it helps but I (and probably loads of others on this forum) are your allies in spirit! You got this. I’m glad you’re in a place to say that you won’t change your mind 🙂

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