Erin

[Erin]

I have but I did not find them so helpful to be honest – the lady kept telling me that I have to make my mind up what to do and I just don’t know! When kids are involved it is so difficult :'(

[Erin]

It feels so hard to think about letting go.

A lot of me is worried he will get access to our daugther – I think is it better to be with him and always with her or to be apart from him and be without her for hours at an end?

I am just so drained, living with him is exhausting. What mood is he going to be in? I question myself as to if he is over senstitive or I am hurtful.

[Erin]

Thanks for all the lovely replies! It does help knowing people have had similar experiences and got through them. I do think he is a control freak.

A lot of things that you are saying also ring true – coffee right after dinner just as I sit down etc.

He knows he does not do his share of the work with the toddler – he will do ten minutes here and there of nice play time but none of the hard work. I think he has been brought up with the expectation that childcare is a womens job. Whenever I do ask for help I almost instantly regret it as he wants to hear thanks over and over again and then eventually he will have an anger fit when he finds it too much. If he does not get a full nights sleep he is so moody it has me on edge so it is easier if I just do the nights. The most annoying thing is that he critises everything as well as watches me do it.

He tells me we can’t afford a cleaner – I earn a good salary each month and he insists I pay all of childcare and then guilts me into saving all my money and makes a big deal on anything we spend ( had a go at me for buying a bag for 5p instead of remembering to bring one [detail removed by moderator]). It is frustraing as we can afford a cleaner and he expects a super clean house – always telling me I am a bad mum because I allow the house to be so dirty (even though its not). Everytime I clean he will come home, take off his shoes randomly and leave them and then throw off his coat in another corner, same with jumper – drives me mad as the house then looks so messy so he then complains about the mess and can’t seem to see that it is all his doing. He also has fallen out with my family and has told me they are not allowed to come around – they live quite far away as well so I now rarely see them. It is easier to just agree with him than fight this.

So so drained at the minute.

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