escapologist-in-training

[escapologist-in-training]

Thanks so much for your reply. Whilst I had thought I’d admitted to myself that this was abusive, all this now sounds so dramatic and I feel guilty for putting together an escape plan as if he’s a monster. I’m starting to go back to wondering if this is just me dramatising it all and not being empathetic enough about the stresses he has had on him. I mean, he’s never put me in hospital. Compared to what some woman experience, I expect my case is fairly trivial – just had a few bumps and bruises from being knocked around. Since he had a slap on the wrist from the police (he’s on probation at the moment), he hasn’t been at all aggressive and I think he’s pretty scared of what they could do next if he did anything more.

[escapologist-in-training]

Thanks so much for your comments so far – it means a lot to hear from others out there in similar circumstances. It’s hard to believe he could eventually go to such extremes and cause so much damage, especially on days when I’m just seeing his gentle, compliant, more “normal” side. I do find myself wondering if I am just being melodramatic and exaggerating it all or failing to empathise enough with the stresses that he’s been under himself. Also can’t help but feel sorry for him knowing that he’s going to lose so much.
Regarding the house – I haven’t got time to sell it, divorce him etc for now. I need to move quickly into a new catchment area in order for my kids to go to a decent school. I am certain that I won’t sacrifice my children’s education over all this. So the only way to do that is to rent somewhere and let this house out for now. I.e. Income from letting would pay for renting elsewhere. My question is really over how I can get him out whilst also creating as little drama as possible. I know the options are there for non-molestation orders etc but I was thinking that it would be better to go quietly and with as few triggers to his anger/resentment as possible. I’m fairly sure that he is over his desire to control and “own” me now – he’s just using me for somewhere to live rent and bill free and still see his kids regularly. I don’t care if he believes he’s the one rejecting me if it means it reduces the chances of him getting angry and vengeful.
Does anyone know what rights a woman has just to ask her husband to move out if the property is in her name? And also, is that affected at all if I am no longer living there with him? Perhaps I would have more rights over the property whilst we are still married than if we were divorced…?

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