Forgottensoul

[Forgottensoul]

Thank you so much, as for the advice, he doesn’t know about my phone, as only take it out when he’s working, as for books, I can’t see, but even if I could, would be difficult to hide, as for his anger isn’t all the time, I do love him, just don’t like him very much, I didn’t think I would be living in a locked spare room, but he does allow me out when he’s home, with his job he just gets stressed sometimes, guess I can’t complain really xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, it’s all scary because I know if I leave, I’m alone as for the authorities , (detail removed by Moderator), and I am so afraid they’ll believe him, as been there before, they actually felt sorry for him , and advised him to get ME mental health, I felt so alone, they actually believed him, but I guess I can’t blame them, he’s very convincing and in authority, so I just feel, why fight what I won’t win? He is sorry when I make him hurt me, just have to be good, and hope he’ll change xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Well it’s been a tough couple of days and I know its my fault, but he’s trying to work which is stressful and looking after me, but I’ve felt unwell so giving him more to stress about isn’t helping, guess I just feel guilty and understand why he sometimes punished me, not keen on weekends, but guess if I behave it will be okay xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Thank you (detail removed by moderator) for the kind words, I have nobody except him in my life, and it’s been that way for a few years, I do feel to blame, I do feel alone, ( I know I’m not here and for that I’m truly grateful), last night while he was out working, I did call the helpline, unfortunately was busy, and couldn’t do a call back, as was concerned he would return, I do wish I could offload, but I know I just have to keep him calm, he isn’t all bad, just I don’t like it when he torments and teases me, but guess it’s my fault , love and hugs xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Maybe I’m stupid but I thought he was changing, seemsim the laughing stock, he teased me and made me feel a idiot, I may be losing eyesight bad I feel pain and humiliation, I feel so deflated, a fool..

[Forgottensoul]

Well today was a good day, I’ve managed to talk him into removing the lock, and he has! Don’t know why he’s in a good mood, but he has been for a few days, so not going to question him, maybe he’s changed now?

xxx FS

[Forgottensoul]

Hugs shine bright 2 xxx

Thank you for your kind words and support, and I’m happy to hear your away from the situation, I wish I could be strong like you, but I’m weak, and since losing eyesight I am more fearful, so he looks after me, and after (detail removed by moderator) years of hearing what a waste of time you are, I guess you believe it, even though some things he does I know are definitely wrong, I just await it to end, as with the authorities, guess isn’t their fault as he’s so charming, but again thanks for the kind words, I hope your doing ok? And yes it would be great to come here a survivor, but with only him in my life, guess that won’t be anytime soon.

Love & hugs FS

[Forgottensoul]

Serenity ,

Thank you hun , and I did try to leave him a few years ago, but all I can say was my local authority treat me appalling, and the humiliation and questions blaming me for what he was doing, and I can’t recall how or why, but I ended up back, that’s why I now am locked up, he says I owe him, and I hate myself for allowing this, but I do owe him , as have no family or friends, and everyone thinks he is perfect, so can’t fight him.

Love & Hugs FS ❤ xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Hi shines bright and hugs xxx

Am sorry to hear about how your struggling, and I’m not there to make it better.

But my thoughts are sent your way , I spend many hours in the bath, scrubbing away the dirt that he and his friends leave on me daily , and as I get locked back in my room, I make myself think there is someone out there going through worse than me, ..and that’s you!

But your so strong, yet you’ve been hurt so much you can’t see it, as for family I’m sorry they took that path, I don’t have family or friends only my partner, so wouldn’t dare be as brave as you, seriously you are brave and strong.

❤ & Hugs FS ❤

[Forgottensoul]

Thank you for your kind words, I can’t help believing this way, but I guess after (detail removed by moderator) years I’ve forgotten what a life is, plus he was my first proper relationship, before that I was in a bad place and he rescued me, well that’s what I have been told and sorry I believe, and I do try to reason with him, and do feel guilty talking about him, after all they at the hospital highly suspect that my blindness is due to the constant beatings, as only last month he cracked my skull, wasn’t too bad, but had black eyes for weeks, and he feels guilty and sorry after, but I tell him this is wrong, but his reply is he’s saving me from the others, as for the locked bedroom, I’ve always been locked in, even at home as a youngster, so I don’t see anything wrong, but must admit would be nice to leave the bedroom door if I wanted to, I guess I sound mad or weird to you all, but if you don’t know anything different, how do you convince yourself it’s wrong? xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Well haven’t been around for a while, he found my phone, but am back home now and I guess am feeling so alone, luckily got this old phone id hidden before, forget about it.

[Forgottensoul]

Thanks as always for your kind words Lisa, just break’s my heart that the police authorities and idas won’t help, even got a letter from idas manager warning me not to make contact, that really scared me, that’s why I guess I have come to the conclusion I deserve and this is my life, that’s why want to try and support and help women here, after all I’m living in a locked room, internet and secret phone will soon probably run out, and it’s really scary to find authorities in my area believe him not me, as I suffer depression, so sad and scary xxx

[Forgottensoul]

Dearest giraffe,
So sorry to hear about your problem too, but take it from someone who knows, ignoring the issue won’t make it go away, I lost my baby, and still battling with if it was a blessing or a punishment, I spiralled back, and yes I know it’s my fault, but with someone who locks me inside, the bedroom is where I mostly live, but we do go out, but only together, but with the authorities treating me badly, and the local idas refusing to help, I have come to the realisation, this must be my life, I hope you get the help and support you need your never alone here xxx❤

[Forgottensoul]

I’m quite afraid I think someone is outside but been blind I can’t see, but can hear, can’t and won’t call the police as not sure. , plus they let me down badly xx

[Forgottensoul]

Thank you Lisa, but isn’t that easy, the pregnancy it’s too late to do anything and because my ex was freed and no charges, he wants me back, and as said was him and friends who raped me, so it’s me whose stuck alone, am quite shocked idas won’t help me anymore, the police’s attitude towards me is not pleasant, as many times in the past have called but not pressed charges, and only people who have been there with abuse, understand that they don’t want you to have friends or family, and you don’t know when it happens, but they vanish, but when I say this to GP I get a strange look, I’m out in a village, everyone knows everyone, but I wasn’t allowed out until I reported, now I’m treated like I’m a liar, as my ex is highly involved and liked, I don’t have a women’s aid, only idas , which received a letter from the manager saying not to contact them again , so I’m alone in a village, the police won’t help, idas won’t , and I wonder why I reported it, least before I told I had ex, I do love him and don’t know how to cope alone , never have before, don’t report is my advice, because I’m afraid and have no idea what to do.

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