Halfofmyself

[Halfofmyself]

I feel like im worse that a bad mum, my 3 young children saw my husband break my nose, they have seen me cowering in the corner of the room. I love my children with every bone in my body, but i still let this happen, how an why, i dont understand i feel I have broken my children and now it is my ultimate job to rebuild them, and i hope I can.
i can admit Ive failed, i can also now say hand on heart i will never again.

[Halfofmyself]

hello ladies

My red flag- after a number of years of abuse ( and I can finally say that is what it was ABUSE) it was when i was at my lowest point- he made me tell my children that id cheated on him with a women, i was so low that i did exactly what he asked. They were all very young (and still are) and would have no concept of fidelity let alone bisexuality.MANIPULATION.
Where my head is at now- i would have never have messed my kids up like that, and i’m having trouble forgiving myself.

[Halfofmyself]

KIP may I say that you are an inspiration, the positive messages and encouragement you give should be commended considering you are going through this trauma too.

[Halfofmyself]

Thank you KIP, I know exactly what I need to do for my children’s sake.
Im living with my parents at the moment with my bambinos and they couldn’t be more supportive.I finally took the step of telling them the whole truth and i felt that a little weight had been lifted. Im Finally trying to admit to myself that I’m not deserving of this treatment.
We used to be so happy and I think I’ve been clinging on to the hope he will go back to his old self, I’ve been hanging onto that for (detail removed by moderator) with no luck.
I totally agree with you on the changing the goal posts…and he did try to commit suicide twice, after I had to call the police on him. For which I was guilt tripped for and called a grass for calling them. From the outside we look like the perfect family, its just such a shame that looks are deceiving.

Thank you so much for you advice KIP, Im in need of alot of it at the moment! I am going to take the advice on going to the GP and calling the helplines. I know in the end the police need to be called but im scared…I know one thing, I will never ever put my beautiful children through this ever again. I’m so annoyed that I’ve contributed to the neglect of my babies, how could I of let it get so bad.

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