Hey,
You are most certainly not alone in this. I’m (detail removed by Moderator) now and spent the entirety of my teen years in a similar cycle of abuse. This behaviour is called gaslighting and the negative impact it has on us as children is far reaching.
I spent my 20s acting out in every way possible because I couldn’t make sense of why I felt so angry and sad all the time. I’ve spent most of my life questioning my own sanity and have no faith in my judgements. I battle with my inner critic who tells me I’m over dramatic and probably imagined the horrors of living with abusive parents.
In my (detail removed by Moderator) however I started talking therapies and that was such a life line. To have a place to discuss all those things my family denied and have someone confirm I’m not “crazy” for seeing the disfunction gave me the ability to breath again and I’m starting to figure out how to trust my own judgements again.
You sound like you know what the truth of the situation is so don’t lose that. Trust in yourself and don’t let anyone make you feel crazy for feeling the disfunction they are trying to hide.
