Lifeafter

[Lifeafter]

Police called to say he handed himself in (detail removed by moderator) and they were releasing him! He denied everything and played Mr charming as usual. How is this fair?? He abuses me for years, walks away free and I have to live with the aftermath and he gets to happily carry on. I have lost all faith and really at my lowest now, he has won and I bet he can’t wait to get back and tell everyone “what I put him through” and how “I’m still mad for getting police involved”. I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs!!! This is not fair

[Lifeafter]

Love these posts and giving me hope I’ll feel like that too one day x

[Lifeafter]

Love this and hope I’ll feel like this soon xx

[Lifeafter]

I finally did it and called the police on him! After threatening to kill me last night he got up early this morning all smiles and whistling asking if he could pick something up for our last supper together tonight, I said no thank you. Came home from work and house practically emptied. Yet another of his little games this morning as he knew he wasn’t gonna be here tonight. I’m really not bothered bout the stuff but my worry is due to getting no reaction from me, means he won’t stop and will do something worse to get the reaction he needs. Police from dv were amazing. I am applying for dv restraint order I think it’s Called? Anyone have any more info on this would be greatly appreciated as it was all a bit of a blur. As they don’t know where he is I believe there’s some sort of order on him to be picked up on sight and taken for interview. I’m a bit scared by all this as if they see fit to let him go (even though he has previous) that I will have to go to court. They found on their system that I had reported him years ago for his harassment but as usual I gave in and didn’t pursue it. I will definitely not make that mistake this time. It’s amazing how 2 strangers (police) can make you feel more self worth than the person supposed to love you! X

[Lifeafter]

He has finally agreed to leave on (detail removed by Moderator) but oh am I suffering for it before he goes! Brought his daughter round on (detail removed by Moderator) to “help him pack his stuff”, reality it was for them both to intimidate me. It’s like he knows he only has a couple of days left to abuse me and is really going for it. Although he has never physically hurt me he has threatened to throw me off the balcony once. He had a night of drugs last night so I kinda guessed what I was in for on getting home from work. I said something he didn’t like and just like that he threatened to “slit my throat”, just like that! I’m now frightened to go to bed and I’m up for work tomorrow. His behaviour is really getting worse, is this because he realises his control over me will soon be gone? Will he leave me alone after he leaves? He told me his ex wife was so evil and I’ve been on the receiving end of her in the past, he is now threatening that she is after me too! I’m so sick and exhausted by it all. Please tell me it gets better when they go or what I can do to stop it when he leaves x

[Lifeafter]

Thank you for the responses, really does help. Had yearly check up for bloods, blood pressure etc yesterday (had a heart scare (detail removed by Moderator) years ago so being monitored). Blood pressure through the roof and I had a total meltdown with the nurse and told her everything, she was so lovely but that made me feel worse as I don’t feel I deserve this kindness and sympathy. She booked me in for doc today who advised I was experiencing extreme anxiety. I come home to find my drawers etc had been ransacked again and a necklace lying on kitchen island. Straight away I know I’m in for trouble tonight. Was on phone to mum and he storms in throwing in my face, mum heard everything and was so upset and worried. He then states that he has spent all our savings at a casino and I’m not getting a penny. This is lies but due to him having all the money in his sister’s safe I cannot confirm this. He then comes down later on to tell me he is really ill and a broken man and it’s all my fault. I tried to show him a pic of us together whilst I was wearing that said necklace but as usual he ignored it and started his laughing and humiliation of me again. I’m really struggling to comprehend that I’m showing him pics of us together with me wearing the necklace but he still thinks someone else bought me It? So now after all our years together with me earning more money than him, paying for nice hols and generally a comfortable lifestyle, I find myself walking away with nothing and starting again. My brother has an ex wife who was emotionally abusive to him and he walked away (detail removed by Moderator) yrs ago so he is totally supportive of me and he has found a new love and says having a relationship with a “normal” human being is amazing! He also said rejected (detail removed by Moderator) are all the same which made me kinda smile. I’m hoping to be gone in 2 weeks and start again and look forward to coming home from work without a knot in my stomach xx

[Lifeafter]

Hi lover of no contact and thank you for your reply. Reading this assures me a little more that I’m not mad. My husband is the same in that he takes pleasure from my upset. He is constantly following me round the house laughing and whistling and insinuating he has found “evidence” of my alleged cheating. Reading other experiences on here has given me strength to not argue back or try to defend myself anymore, but this in turn amuses him and furthers his belief I am cheating. He has been harassing work colleagues etc over the weekend and it’s getting really embarrassing for me. I have contacted our estate agent today to see if we can break our lease as I really cannot bear to stay under the same roof as him, hopefully the landlord will take pity on my reasons and agree to this. I’ll keep posting and reading as this site is really helping my sanity xx

[Lifeafter]

Hi again. Not a good week, sometimes I’m so soft I give in to his requests to borrow my car and feel sorry for him due to being off work and down (although he managed drugs again last night). Went into my car today to find my sat nav missing! When confronted over this and my underwear from laundry basket I was told he was gathering his proof! I got home to be advised he had the results back from my underwear to confirm I have had multiple partners in the last week!! When I asked how he managed to send my underwear away on (detail removed by Moderator), get them and the report back today he just blanked me. I know he is totally lying but I still found myself googling it and finding it takes 10 days. Why am I still falling for his lies, even if he did do what he said, they wouldn’t find anything. Today I have had 4 instances of dizzy and sickness feeling (bit like deja vu if that makes sense?). Has anyone else suffered this? Worried as I was driving at one point when it happened. His behaviour is getting worse as he gets more cocky, constant whistling and laughing. He keeps telling me he is the victim of “my actions” and he has been speaking to people who know how to deal with the sick person I am! I’m starting a new job in (detail removed by Moderator) weeks and it’s such a great opportunity but I can’t take him into this new exciting environment. I considered calling police due to him stealing underwear, sat nav, wardrobes, drawers and handbags being ransacked everyday but I know he’s been in trouble with police and his ex wife before and don’t think I could handle the guilt of getting him in trouble. I know, pathetic! Would appreciate any advice anyone has to offer xx

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