Limoncello

[Limoncello]

Thanks hereforhelp…by WA do you mean Woman’s Aid? I suspect I should be able to Google their nearest office and take it from there. Yes, my GP is undestanding, and I’m having another appointment with her this week. Thanks for all your time.

[Limoncello]

Oh wow, I can’t let go either, I’m sucked in each time, he may just pay me a complimemt, or say a kind word, and like an idiot I cave in, I’ll take any little scrap of kindness I can as I’ve normalised abnormal. I’m (detail removed by Moderator) now and I’ve tolerated his emotional abuse, etc for almost (detail removed by Moderator)  years of our relationship because I was totally in love with him, so chose to ignore the red flags. He’s told me I can’t communicate, that I missinterpret everything and the manipulate things to suit me, that I don’t share, I de-masculate him, talk over him, interrupt and have caused him so much emotional pain! So I can’t win, yet I can’t seem to leave. My relationship with my daughter and my brother are suffering as they can’t bear seeing me like this, yet I still put myself through it each day and make excuses not to leave. I have my solicitor on standby and have the Form E half filled in! What the hell is stopping me????

[Limoncello]

I feel your pain, my husband used to drink from 11am to midnight each day, lager was his tipple, he drank them like Ribenas! He too threatened to commit suicide, I got a text saying he was (detail removed by Moderator) , so I rushed home to find him, he was fine, we went to hospital, they gave him the talks, he spoke with Mental Health and was told to undergo a six week course over the phone, which he probably did. He has since stopped drinking to excess and the drunken abuse has all but stopped, yet, there’s always an edge…but don’t feel foolish! He blamed me for trying to take his own life, for drinking and for smoking! Yes, me, it’s my fault because I made him feel sad, worthless, belittled etc. I know I’m not that person, and nor are you! Be strong, you’ve taken a huge step, you are stronger than me, you’ve ended the toxic relationship, so don’t beat yourself up over it…be proud of what you’ve done, it’s hard, and you will flourish… I wish I had the courage to move on and end it…

[Limoncello]

This is my first foray into this, so here goes…it was suggested by my daughter who has watched me cry, feel sad, weep, and become emotionally isolaed over the last (detail removed by Moderator) years. I met my 2nd husband (detail removed by Moderator) years ago (my children are from my first marriage), we fell hopelessly in love and had a most extraordinary love for eachother, I was walking on cloud nine, I was completely spell bound, I was consumed and immersed wholeheartedly with him, but also scared to death of losing what I’d found in him. Then there was a couple of red flags, which I chose to ignore, and I’d put him before the kids to appease him, I rallied around him like hired help, not wanting to disappoint him, but they were small little things, and I thought fairly insignificant at the time, so I just continued, living the life and after (detail removed by Moderator) years of being in two different counties, commuting each weekend, he moved near me and a year later, after renovating it he asked me to marry him and move into his house, which I did, and where I am today I remember thinking 18 months before the wedding that things weren’t right, but I still went ahead, despite my daughter saying that if I had doubts I should walk away, but it just seemed easier to go ahead with it, naively thinking that things would settle or change. He’s called both my children nasty names, my daughter now (detail removed by Moderator), refuses to come here so I go to see her on my own, my son, goes with the flow,but I’m on constant eggshells, I feel that he has slowly chipped away and I’mm now just a shell. I love him, but no longer in love, I’ve tried to leave so many times and only in (detail removed by Moderator) put in divorce proceedings..but due to my mental health and having also just lost my mother I was broken..so ended up coming back to try once more,but I knew deep down it wouldn’t work. I’m now at the stage that I hate myself for not going when I had the chance. It’s so hard leaving someone you still have feelings for yet you know it’s destroying you. I have no self respect and I make excuses not to go each day…the heat, a fofthcoming appointment, meetings, etc, I just need the courage and strength to go, my support network is there to catch me,but I can’t seem to be able to take that leap, i’m desperate and reach out to you lot out there…what’s stopping me?I’m(detail removed by Moderator) now, and I don’t want to be in the same position when I’m (detail removed by Moderator)!

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