Megan

[Megan]

@iwanttobreakfree
Starting a new relationship can be a big step and first, I want to congratulate you for giving yourself the opportunity. Having said that, I think that you should make clear what you think. No, not ALL men are abusive, but once you have been through it, it is very likely to repeat the pattern; because you maybe don’t feel worth it, because maybe you think you have to endure certain things, or simply because that’s the only type of relationship you know and then everything becomes a “self-fulfilling prophecy”.
If you don’t feel comfortable, talk about it.
If you DO feel comfortable, talk about it too.
Use language effectively and explain to your partner how you feel and what happened.

Take care!

[Megan]

@freedomchoice @fridges
Thanks for your kind answers. It is as you say, days and days. Regarding body image, I’m struggling with it too, I’ve been practising martial arts for a while now, but sometimes I “punish” myself by not eating (my therapist says it’s like bullying myself through food. To me, it’s more like it feels “right”)
FTC, I’m so happy for your child! mine’s been on therapy and most of the time he seems nonchalant (this worries me constantly). Also, in relation to what you can do to feel better, I can share you my experience with exercise. I was never into it (I mean, I didn’t do anything since highschool), but practising martial arts has made me revive some issues (for instance, what to do when someone grabs your arm). I wouldn’t recommend running (it’s painful, specially if you’re a beginner), but I’d recommend some activities that make you forget about how you feel when exercising, like biking (so you get to do some sightseeing) or a sport just to have fun. I can say that this definetly has made a difference to me, keeps my moods at bay and it is as people say, makes you feel better (because of the chemical “rush”)
Fridges, I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It is as you say, labels are strong, because once the abuse is over, you keep feeding those thoughts. It is as in what I have been researching, language is the bridge between thoughts and reality, so being said that you are one thing is to your brain the same as seeing and believing that you are. In this sense, I’ve been thinking a lot about who I really am, a sort of second adolescence. I hope that you can surround yourself with people who show you a more realistic image of yourself, knowing that you’re worth all the happiness in the world.

cheers! 🙂

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