Mish

[Mish]

Hi
hope you are getting this resolved now, I couldn’t get legal aid and ended up getting credit cards to fund my divorce which I wouldn’t recommend as it means thousands of pounds have to come out of the pot at the end I my ex may not have to contribute to what I have actually paid. Honestly that GP is terrible.

[Mish]

Hi
I am new to the forum but am already feeling better knowing how many other people are suffering too. Its so sad. I have a (detail removed by Moderator) who has deserted me and is as abusive as his father. Blames me for everything. Don’t ever feel its your fault, its them that have the issues. But it is hard to stand up and respect yourself when its your son or daughter. My son has chosen my husband and I cant understand it except my husband is devious and buys him, runs around after him. Hope you are feeling better than you were

[Mish]

Hi
I’m new to this, I too wasn’t sure my husband was abusive as I always associated abuse with violence and whilst he has done a couple of things, grabbed me by the throat, knocked me off my feet but only a couple of things in (detail removed by Moderator) of marriage. It wasn’t until recently when he said he wanted me to die he said it more than once and it wasn’t during a row, I realised he really wasn’t right. I looked up the meaning/signs of a passive aggressive and realised that is exactly what he is. All my married life he has controlled everything every day. Up until (detail removed by Moderator) ago I threw myself into work, was never at home so it was ok. My boss said to me one day do you realise that that man is capable of killing you to which I answered don’t be daft! That was years ago.

I reduced my workload (detail removed by Moderator) ago when my mum was (detail removed by Moderator) so I could look after her. My son left for uni (detail removed by Moderator)later then my health deteriorated. I have osteoarthritis in both hips and some other health issues. This is about when he got really abusive. Anything from letting my tyres down to turning the heating off so the house was freezing. (detail removed by Moderator) Its like he is rubbing my nose in it! He bugs the phone so he knows what I am doing. I have had to get a lock on my bedroom door. I still accepted all of this and kept away from him, more or less living in 1 room but (detail removed by Moderator) when my son was out one evening he excelled himself and we had a row over something stupid, he grabbed me by the throat, I had a mug in my hand which I dropped. Managed to get away from him to my room. I could hear him pacing knowing he had gone too far. What I didn’t know was that he had scratched his face so when my son came home after being out (detail removed by Moderator) he greeted them and said I had attacked him! (detail removed by Moderator) I went to look after my mum as usual who was gravely ill at the time and when I got back went to my room and was called down by my husband and there were 2 police officers waiting to arrest me for assault! I was arrested at (detail removed by Moderator) and held in a cell absolutely petrified until I saw a solicitor at (detail removed by Moderator). She took my story and looked at the extensive bruising on my face, neck and arms and my knee which had been bleeding as he had knocked me to the floor and told me he had been very clever. I was questioned and released without charge. I have never got over this and wont as I felt so degraded. I did take the solicitors advice and went to my GP who measured and recorded in detail all the marks on my body.

Now I am in the process of divorcing him, its scary, my son blames me so I have lost him which is heart-breaking, I am now quite disabled but realised I don’t care where I live my life will be hard, but I will be free and safe of the only way of life I have known in (detail removed by Moderator) years. So glad I contacted women’s aid.

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